Can you make me laugh?

Question

I need cheering up, if you could make me laugh it would be much appreciated!

Thanks for all your answers. I am going to leave this upto everyone else to decide as they are all good answers :)

Answer 1

i dont know what makes you laugh lol
try of thinking something happy
that always makes my feel good and remember happy moments

Answer 2

OK, well whenever I need cheering up I always turn to my GF, she always makes me smile but if it's jokes you're loking for then Chuck Norris jokes are hilarious.

Chuck Norris wears a rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Noriss dosn't wear a watch, HE decides what the time is.
The average man sleeps with 2547 in a lifetime, Chuck Norris calles this a slow Tuesday.

They are some favourites. Go to google and type in Chuck Norris Facts or Funny Jokes or something like that. Go to the Jokes & Riddles catagories of Yahoo Answers. I hope I helped and i hope you are feeling better soon. Cheer up and keep on smiling my good friend! :)

Answer 3

Hope this joke can make cheer you up a bit...

A Russian, an American and a Blonde were discussing space travel. The American argued that because they were the first to put a man on the moon, America was superior in space travel.

The blonde stated her kind were going to be far superior to Russia and America because they were going to be the first to land on the sun.

The Russian asked the blonde if she was nuts. Didn't she know that it was impossible to land on the sun? The American asked her just how in the hell she thought they could accomplish this considering the heat and extreme brightness of the sun.

"Well, duh!" the blonde replied. "We're going at night."

or this?

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

Answer 4

Pickin' Up A Dog

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone......cheese mine."

Answer 5

I was in London on Friday and a man was walking to-wards me and at the same time was looking in the shop windows he passed them.There was a concrete lamp post in the middle of the pavement and he walked straight into it!....It made me laugh!

Answer 6

Following from lady yuna...

There was an old man from China
Who thought he was a very good climber
He slipped on a rock and cut his c*ck
and now he's got a vagina!

Hehe! Whoops... I better not receive a violation for that!

Answer 7

blind man goes into a diner, the owner goes up to him and says "Would you like me to read the menu to you sir?".
"no" the blindman replies, "Bring me a fork from a dirty plate and I will smell what the other customer ate" He smells the fork and says "Mmmm. Beef stew! I'll have a plate of this thanks" He eats & leaves.

The next day he returns and the blindman again asks for a used fork, and then orders fish & chips. Annoyed by this the owner says to his wife Joanne "the next time he comes in here i am gonna catch him out!"

A week later he returns and asks for a fork, the owner takes a clean fork and asks his wife to rub the fork in her crotch. She does and the owner gives the man the fork,
he says, .... .

"WOW!!! I DIDN'T KNOW JOANNE WORKED HERE!!!"

Answer 8

A guy takes his dog to the vet because he thinks the dog is dead.

"Is he dead Doc?" said the man.

The Vet examined the dog and said, "I'm afraid so."

"No Doc, say it ain't so. There's gotta be something you can do." said the man.

So, the Vet opened one of the kennels, and a cat walked out. It walked around the dog, then over it, then back to the kennel.

"Sorry, I'm afraid he's dead." said the Vet.

"No Doc, he can't be. There's gotta be something else you can do." said the man.

So, the Vet went to one of the other kennel cages, opened the door, and a Black Lab walked out. It went over to the dead dog, and crapped on it. Then it went back to the kennel.

"Sorry, like I said, he's dead." said the Vet.

"Okay." said the man. "How much do I owe you?"

"$150" said the Vet.

"$150!" said the man. "For what?!"

"Well, $50 for me, $50, for the CAT scan, and $50 for the LAB work."

Answer 9

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Answer 10

no. i wish i could but im not funny like that. but i can have a long conversation with you, and spend the whole day with you having fun. And then at the end of it you would smile.