Entertainment & Music - 21 October 2007

I am a severe arachnophobe and there is large, brown spider in my living room.

I believe it's been drinking as it has fallen from it's web and is lurching about the carpet, swearing at my terrified cat and waving a fist at it. There is a very small Volkswagen parked haphazardly under the sofa so it looks as if it might have driven here under the influence- I would try to wrestle it's keys away but that would mean getting close, and actually finding them as they must be very, very small.

I have also heard that many spiders carry razor blades and I don't want to get hurt; it's taunting me about my mother's obesity and so need to do something quick- what do you recommend?

2007-10-21 23:31:55 · 39 answers · asked by DaveyMcB 3 in Polls & Surveys

I prefer to chat to very close trusted friends only. Im not really a social butterfly (but I can be when I want to be).

2007-10-21 23:31:26 · 30 answers · asked by Autumn 2012 3 in Polls & Surveys

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, ''What the heck is taking so long? Hit the ball!''
The guy answers, ''My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.''
''Give me a break! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here.''

2007-10-21 23:30:28 · 16 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

Have a good night?

Good morning to you all!

2007-10-21 23:30:19 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-21 23:29:33 · 4 answers · asked by - - 5 in Polls & Surveys

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning, and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny
early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his Parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD H0LE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished.

2007-10-21 23:27:39 · 15 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-21 23:27:38 · 16 answers · asked by misia 5 in Polls & Surveys

~have a nice day~

RoChEr

2007-10-21 23:27:03 · 24 answers · asked by RoChEr 5 in Polls & Surveys

1. the dark
2. a padded room
3. a casket
4. cost of gasoline
5. cell phone bill
6. elderly drivers
7. a homeless person
8. Halloween night
9. your in laws or relatives
10. running out of TP ( toilet paper)
More than one answer is cool too..=)
thanx~

2007-10-21 23:24:55 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-21 23:21:29 · 6 answers · asked by Gambit-Xeneise 5 in Horoscopes

chocolate?
cake?
friends?
men?
women?

2007-10-21 23:20:43 · 33 answers · asked by rachealuk 5 in Polls & Surveys

1. money
2. sex
3. chocolate
4. alcohol
5. drugs
6. Casino's
7. sports cars
8. sports events
9. large Cities
10. the open road
More than one answer is cool too..=)

thanx~

2007-10-21 23:20:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Or do you sleep with someone? Which is better?

2007-10-21 23:19:00 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-21 23:16:40 · 20 answers · asked by Arienna C 1 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-21 23:16:11 · 50 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

Calculator ready............ try:-

1 x 8 +1
12 x 8 + 2
123 x 8 + 3
1234 x 8 + 4
12345 x 8 + 5
123456 x 8 + 6
1234567 x 8 + 7
12345678 x 8 + 8
123456789 x 8 + 9

(Keeps the kids quiet. If you want more, let me know)

2007-10-21 23:15:44 · 12 answers · asked by Bunts 6 in Jokes & Riddles

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

2007-10-21 23:14:40 · 12 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

A wife turns round to her husband and asks, "what is reincarnation?" The husband thought about it for a while and started to explain "When you die and providing you have been good then you can assume a new life and come back to Earth and live again, if you are still good then you can come back again" The wife replied, "that's nice - I would like to come back as a pig". "Oh dear" said the husband. "You're not listening to me”!!!!.

2007-10-21 23:13:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Bearing in mind this is the joke section , i just told a joke that wasnt rude or anything and i have been reported , heres the joke.
Alcohol killed my wife.......i came home p*ssed and shot her.

Ok its not the best joke in the world but it is a JOKE , my god some people actually think this has happened.
If i had killed her i wouldnt put it on here now would i!!!!!
For gods sake some people really need to get a life, and if you have no sense of humour dont come on the joke section!
Sorry for moaning but i cant believe how sad some people are.

2007-10-21 23:13:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I just want opinions

To me he has made some of the best movies ever:

Top Gun
Eyes Wide Shut
Risky Business
Far and Away

just to name a few.

Only one i think i didnt like was Vanilla Sky.

Personally i wish he made more more often.

2007-10-21 23:12:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2007-10-21 23:11:39 · 8 answers · asked by majoti 5 in Polls & Surveys

Top ten reasons to tell if you were caught sleeping.

10. They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.
9. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.
8. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time.
7. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
6. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.
5. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercies to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?
4. Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem!
3. The coffee machine is broken.
2. Someone must have put the decaf in the wrong pot.
1. Amen.

2007-10-21 23:11:35 · 13 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"

2007-10-21 23:10:08 · 15 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

Is that Brad Pitts real body or has it been digitally enhanced?

I always thought he was a bit of a weed.

2007-10-21 23:09:54 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four."
The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says
"Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

2007-10-21 23:08:38 · 14 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

I find it a national disgrace that our people can't get jobs or houses, and these people can come from abroad and get everything that's going. ENOUGH is enough we are a small island and after reading of the fact that our population has went up from 39 Million in 1939 to over 60 Million today, isn't that enough proof?

I've no fight with those that are here legally but the fact that even up the road from me in a one bedroom flat there are over 12 people who I suspect are illegals constantly makes you fear for your family. I probably will get reported for saying this but that's just it people today can't speak their minds it's time to get tough BRITAIN these people are taking advantage.

Thank you
A disiilusioned father of two

2007-10-21 23:06:34 · 13 answers · asked by Rab C Nesbitt 1 in Polls & Surveys

While my friend was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

2007-10-21 23:06:00 · 25 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.
When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers.
"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

2007-10-21 23:03:06 · 12 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

would you never let me go .......
would love me in return ........
would you cherish each & every moment of our love .......
could I be your one true Knight forever more ..... my Love .......

2007-10-21 23:01:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A priest was in his room and realised that his rooster was missing. He decided 2 bring it up in Sunday Mass.
Right before the ceremony the priest asked, "Who has a c0ck?" all the men in the room stood up.
The priest said "NO,No,NO. Who has seen a c0ck?" all the woman in the room stood up.
The priest said "NO,NO,NO. Who has seen my c0ck?". All of the nuns stood up.

2007-10-21 22:59:37 · 15 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles