Entertainment & Music - 22 January 2007

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

2007-01-22 19:53:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."

A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink less."

2007-01-22 19:52:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-22 19:52:38 · 2 answers · asked by David 6 in Music

2007-01-22 19:52:28 · 2 answers · asked by ? 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Thanks.

2007-01-22 19:51:51 · 37 answers · asked by Dream_Catcher 4 in Polls & Surveys

Hmmmm.
I think the ring was far worse, it had a plot but it was good for only 1 scare (when the girl was in the closet).
The Grudge was confusing and a waste of acting (even though there really wasn't much talent in that movie), but it did provide a few scares (though cheap) and when i see a horror movie i go for the jump factor not the gore.

Plus, why werent those movies a little more intense, average horror movies almost always carry a R rating, but PG-13. Most kids have seen Nightmare or Friday and they really pack a punch.

Im sure there was a crowd full of people saying "Well I would go see this movie about dead children (which both movies contain) but its rated R.

2007-01-22 19:51:40 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

what's it called

2007-01-22 19:51:36 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2007-01-22 19:50:37 · 26 answers · asked by Anashuya 6 in Polls & Surveys

john stewart just comes across as an arrogant jackas* to me.

2007-01-22 19:50:18 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer ya is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree and I were a squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the
ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,but I bet I can make yer "bed-rock."

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,...........every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

2007-01-22 19:49:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I like the one with Justin Timberlake playing a joke on Kelly Osbourne where people suggested her to wear Christina Aguilera style clothes for the Osbournes.

2007-01-22 19:48:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

2007-01-22 19:48:28 · 28 answers · asked by Charlene 6 in Movies

PEST CONTROL

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company.

One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
"Quick," said the woman to her lover, "into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

"Who are you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said,.."Those little bastards!"

2007-01-22 19:47:19 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-22 19:46:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

*dances around*

2007-01-22 19:46:28 · 9 answers · asked by gancore_member 1 in Music

2007-01-22 19:46:22 · 5 answers · asked by jason l 1 in Television

2007-01-22 19:46:02 · 9 answers · asked by grams 2 in Horoscopes

2007-01-22 19:45:32 · 3 answers · asked by kavya_priyanka 1 in Horoscopes

listened to my music if so what did you think

2007-01-22 19:44:50 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Polls & Surveys

Or do you know someone who is?

2007-01-22 19:44:20 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

... at least for you??

2007-01-22 19:43:40 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

have seen the screen shots but no daemons!!
Maybe they will edit them in, anybody know?

a tough question, sorry

2007-01-22 19:42:38 · 4 answers · asked by YoKoGa 2 in Movies

2007-01-22 19:41:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anashuya 6 in Polls & Surveys

full of ****, I am watching that infomercial about how many pounds of undigested dood in the clon etc Wow that's messed up

2007-01-22 19:41:18 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-22 19:41:16 · 20 answers · asked by salstick 6 in Polls & Surveys

I'm off but i have to go to a meeting at 3! lame but I'm going to chill, maybe go buy my best friend his b-day presents! and..hope my tax return check comes in tomorrow!

2007-01-22 19:40:52 · 2 answers · asked by Minty 3 in Other - Entertainment

What advice can you give me about lessons as well

2007-01-22 19:40:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Some films are not shown at every cinema, especially if they are not blockbusters so I'm looking for a UK website that shows all the places any particualr film is showing. Thanks

2007-01-22 19:40:24 · 2 answers · asked by YoKoGa 2 in Movies

Some films are not shown at every cinema, especially if they are not blockbusters so I'm looking for a UK website that shows all the places any particualr film is showing. Thanks

2007-01-22 19:40:09 · 1 answers · asked by YoKoGa 2 in Movies

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50."

The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.

In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

2007-01-22 19:39:43 · 12 answers · asked by Hong T 1 in Jokes & Riddles