Entertainment & Music - 18 January 2007

any kind of gossip

2007-01-18 21:29:23 · 11 answers · asked by coo_here 2 in Polls & Surveys

if I opened your inner doors?

Inspired by brotherjonah :) thank you

2007-01-18 21:29:10 · 14 answers · asked by ♫Pavic♫ 7 in Polls & Surveys

A blonde man was picked up on a rape charge and was told to stand in an identification parade in the police station. He was placed in a lineup with ten other fellows and the accusing woman was escorted into the room.
Blonde jumped forward, and screamed "Thats her! Thats her! Id recognize her anywhere!"

One more...

Yesterday's head line: An old woman raped during morning jog.

Today's head line: Many old ladies found jogging!

2007-01-18 21:27:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Or is it both poor-mannerred and unfunny?

2007-01-18 21:27:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

who is against the evil, fowel mouthed poised dwarf.... Goody? CH4 have recieved over 2000 complaints about that b1tch.... they have a policy to close a program if they recieve more than 100 complaints about the same thing...

please, all those people who are against her, lets be bothered to vote and get her out of the house tonight (i dont normaly bother with these things) i hope that once she's out a hate campain can start..... she's only famous through BB, we made her... lets destroy her
(well done car phone wearhouse)

she will be mortified if the public go against her over shilpa shetty (a credit to her family, for the composure she's shown)

once she's out of that house....(and the sooner the better) lets ruin her?

2007-01-18 21:26:33 · 28 answers · asked by Bmp1ksh 3 in Celebrities

2007-01-18 21:26:15 · 2 answers · asked by P.I. Stingray 6 in Magazines

2007-01-18 21:25:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

Cover your stump before you hump.

Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.

Don't be silly, protect your willy.

When in doubt, shroud your spout.

Don't be a loner, cover your *****.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.

If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.

She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.

If you go into heat, package your meat.

Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.

The right selection! Protect your erection.

Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.

If you really love her, wear a cover.

Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.

Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.

Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.

If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

No glove, No love.

Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.

AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.

2007-01-18 21:25:10 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Bad Parrot

Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a curse: those that weren't curses were to say the least, rude.

Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite things. Words and playing soft music...anything she could think of. Nothing worked.

She yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. She shook the bird and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally in a moment of desperation, Mary put the parrot in the freezer to get a minute of peace.

For a few moments she heard the bird swearing, squawking kicking and screaming and then, suddenly there was absolute quiet. Mary was frightened that she might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Mary's extended arm and said:

"I'm very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior and I am sure it will never happen again."

Mary was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

2007-01-18 21:24:06 · 13 answers · asked by Eye of the Beholder 4 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-18 21:23:49 · 33 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-18 21:23:44 · 26 answers · asked by P.I. Stingray 6 in Movies

2007-01-18 21:23:30 · 6 answers · asked by David 6 in Music

please note that i am referring to actresses over the age of 50. i am not referring to actresses age thirty to forty that is not old.

2007-01-18 21:22:33 · 10 answers · asked by empangeniguy 3 in Movies

in order to open all... your doors?

2007-01-18 21:22:20 · 21 answers · asked by ♫Pavic♫ 7 in Polls & Surveys

How do you like this one?

A lot of people can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in this country.
Well, there's a very simple answer.
Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in Bass Strait and off the coast of W.A..
Our dipsticks are located in Canberra.

2007-01-18 21:22:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I want to answer to GM who said I should learn to speak English.
Alright I skipped Get in my question. Errare Humanum Est.
That's Latin

2007-01-18 21:21:56 · 1 answers · asked by Miss Bo 2 in Music

Pig Breeding

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.

The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead, lay down & wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up & gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.

So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back & goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes & looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up & drives them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.

'No,' she says, 'they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.

2007-01-18 21:21:18 · 6 answers · asked by Eye of the Beholder 4 in Jokes & Riddles

And are there any side effects!?

2007-01-18 21:21:07 · 21 answers · asked by Sherluck 6 in Polls & Surveys

i do !.. always :)

hehe :)

2007-01-18 21:20:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I think I read it somewhere.

2007-01-18 21:19:45 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

After finding out what you thought about us as people (overall pretty bad) I was wondering what you thought of our television. Over here we have grown up with US TV.... Sesame Street, Dallas, Friends, Lost, ER, Hill Street Blues, Twin Peaks, etc. The list really is endless.

I just wanted to know what English programmes have Americans enjoyed.......if any.

Cheers

2007-01-18 21:19:32 · 8 answers · asked by mickeyleon123 2 in Television

obviously a women but characteristics and status etc.
Need it for a sociology exam.
Thanks.

2007-01-18 21:18:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Magazines

heard it on the radio sounds funky whould love to know

2007-01-18 21:18:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

durum - durum, durum - durum - durum, de - de - de - derrr...

2007-01-18 21:17:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

The Bakery

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.

After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.

Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."

2007-01-18 21:17:41 · 1 answers · asked by Eye of the Beholder 4 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-18 21:17:41 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-18 21:16:49 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

you told yourself... "now is the most interesting time of all"?

2007-01-18 21:16:39 · 6 answers · asked by ♫Pavic♫ 7 in Polls & Surveys

..
^_^

2007-01-18 21:16:38 · 20 answers · asked by RAINGIRL 6 in Polls & Surveys

hi can you tell me wat you think to my poem, please can you give me constructive comments and any links that could help me improve, please no nastyness just honesty, many thanx

Questions

I wonder if I can do this?
Can it be possible to do that?
Wonder if this is bliss?
As I trip over the cat

If I ware that coat
Shall I wash them shirts?
If I drop it will it float?
Can I touch that? Will it hurt?

Shall I lock the door?
And leave the curtains shut?
Do I need to hover the floor?
Is that knife sharp enough to cut?

Do I need to got out of this chair
What about a shower? do I need?
And then maybe after that, fresh air?
I’m hungry, do I need to feed?

I’m a feeling low, or am I okay?
I need to answer these riddles
And it needs to be done today

2007-01-18 21:15:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles