Entertainment & Music - 23 October 2006

2006-10-23 08:48:47 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.
On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.
The accident occurred mainly because I acceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. “Ed! the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it.”
“You know where the button is.” I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). “Reset it yourself!”
“I am scared!” She pleaded. “What if it starts going and sucks me in?” (Pause) “C'mon, it'll only take a second.”
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button.
It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a “fight or flight” syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the “flight” option.
Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter.
At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. “What's the matter, cat got your tongue?” If they had only known.

2006-10-23 08:48:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-10-23 08:47:57 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Hi, I'm new here, and I was wondering what happend to the show?
It was one of my favorites. I never heard anything that it was being canceled. It's been on for a while. Thanks.

2006-10-23 08:47:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

2006-10-23 08:46:59 · 24 answers · asked by ? 3 in Polls & Surveys

Heres the pic
http://photos.friendster.com/photos/37/81/381873/33484340315661l.jpg

2006-10-23 08:46:39 · 25 answers · asked by Rolan 1 in Polls & Surveys

i dont wanna stalk but I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-23 08:45:55 · 4 answers · asked by ryanrosslover01 1 in Music

........can't stop noddin me head and tappin me foot.........Depeche Mode then Joe Satriani for me in a bit.

......everybody thinks i'm mad, they're only jealous 'cos i can multi-task 'music/pc/drink/nod'

2006-10-23 08:45:45 · 43 answers · asked by millerman022002 3 in Music

C'mon gimme a really good one that makes me fall out of my chair!

Thanx, peace.

2006-10-23 08:45:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-10-23 08:45:14 · 8 answers · asked by seaazz 1 in Comics & Animation

The man was dining in a very swank restaurant in New York City. When the elderly waiter brought the consomme the customer saw that his thumb was deep in the soup bowl.
Next, the waiter served steak diane, and now his thumb was deep in the gravy. The customer held his tongue. This was after all one of New York's finest restaurants.
Finally, for dessert the waiter brought out coupe marrow. This time his finger was not in the ice cream. The customer could contain himself no longer. "Sir," he said to the waiter, would you tell me why you put your finger in the consomme and the steak gravy but not in the coupe marrow?
The waiter stared coldly at him for a moment and then replied, Simple, my good man. I have a bad case of arthritis and warm things relieve the pain in my thumb.
The customer became very angry. "You son-of-a-b*tch!" he said, "Putting your thumb in my food! You should take that thumb and ram it up your a*s!"
The waiter looked at him and said, That's what I do in the kitchen

2006-10-23 08:44:33 · 15 answers · asked by hazelshine 4 in Jokes & Riddles

if so, what is your favorite song?

2006-10-23 08:44:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Or Lucy

2006-10-23 08:44:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Entertainment

I loved Daria's sarcastic smartass!! =)

2006-10-23 08:43:45 · 8 answers · asked by mentalchallenge 3 in Comics & Animation

collapses with his hand between his legs. The physiotherapist runs over and says"Don't worry I have medical training. I can help reduce the pain". So saying she opens his trousers and massages his privates. After a minute she says,Does that feel better?" The man replies"Yes thank you. But I think you broke my thumb."

2006-10-23 08:43:37 · 14 answers · asked by bo nidle 4 in Jokes & Riddles

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."

2006-10-23 08:43:26 · 9 answers · asked by arfa54321 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-10-23 08:42:43 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2006-10-23 08:42:35 · 16 answers · asked by EMO cupcake 4 in Polls & Surveys

(in relationships... not school hehe)

2006-10-23 08:42:33 · 10 answers · asked by BellaRia 2 in Polls & Surveys

Am turning 15 in a month and never been kissed or had a girlfriend just wondering when the general public first got there first surious relationship?

2006-10-23 08:41:56 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Star Trek - The Original Series
Capt. James Kirk

Star Trek - The Next Generation
Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

Star Trek - Deep Space 9
Cmdr. Benjamin Sisko

Star Trek - Voyager
Capt. Kathryn Janeway

Star Trek - Enterprise
Capt. Michael Archer

2006-10-23 08:41:56 · 11 answers · asked by Cuddly Lez 6 in Television

its ace, whos it by? where did it come from? ect

2006-10-23 08:41:10 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2006-10-23 08:41:08 · 18 answers · asked by Giggly Giraffe 7 in Polls & Surveys

My rented copy was scratched, and I couldn't watch it.

2006-10-23 08:40:37 · 3 answers · asked by rg778sx 5 in Movies

2006-10-23 08:40:17 · 8 answers · asked by *New New* 2 in Music

And it looks really natural. How do film people 'cut' the bodies of people with ok heights and make them look like a MIDGET.

It makes me wonder, really!!!
How do they do it? Any ideas?

2006-10-23 08:40:09 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

it has got to be wentworth miller. no doubt.

2006-10-23 08:39:22 · 18 answers · asked by cella<3 2 in Celebrities

as the person arrives

2006-10-23 08:39:10 · 5 answers · asked by BoChOi 3 in Other - Entertainment

2006-10-23 08:38:15 · 9 answers · asked by Horse_L9 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-10-23 08:36:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles