Entertainment & Music - 5 September 2006

2006-09-05 19:41:03 · 4 answers · asked by mateenshahnam 1 in Movies

> Quickie #1
> One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
>very sexy nightie.
> "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
> So he tied her up and went fishing.

> Quickie #2
>
> A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran
>into the house.
> She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
>pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
> The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?"
> "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
>
> Quickie #3
>
> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
>the other is a husband.
>
> Quickie #4
>
> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
> First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
> The optician showed him a card with the letters:
> 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
> "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
> "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
> Quickie #5
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I
>must tell you all
> something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
>chardonnay."
>
> Quickie #6
>
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
>You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
>need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
>going to STICK!
> Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
>you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
>your mind?
> Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
>Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
> The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
>think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
> The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
>when I'm driving."
>
> Quickie #7
>
> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North
> Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
> On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
> That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
> On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
> That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
> On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
> The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

2006-09-05 19:40:41 · 9 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Jokes & Riddles

I am! I can't hold my tears when i see this picture of him with his family.

http://img82.imageshack.us/img82/5342/pic26153hk5.jpg

it's so heart-breaking, isn't it?

*May he rest in peace*

2006-09-05 19:39:45 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3 in Celebrities

'But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal...'

Female artist.


PS: Use Google, and in the afterlife a horde of furry little Yamsters will poke you with toothpicks while Jimmy Buffett plays on continuous loop in the background. Mwah ha ha.

2006-09-05 19:38:28 · 11 answers · asked by Bowzer 7 in Music

2006-09-05 19:38:28 · 17 answers · asked by goldieluxxx 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-05 19:37:05 · 16 answers · asked by Bobbie V 1 in Celebrities

a banned called venus lee was banned from harrah music hall

2006-09-05 19:36:15 · 1 answers · asked by J H 1 in Music

2006-09-05 19:35:53 · 8 answers · asked by chapped lips 5 in Polls & Surveys

After two days, I can go bed now!
I subtitle movies, so, people in the US, I hope you like foreign films.

2006-09-05 19:35:27 · 8 answers · asked by Ms. Pelled Babby Schmidt 7 in Polls & Surveys

be in a room full of dirty socks (for 3 hours)
or hear someone scratch their nails on the chackboard (for 1 hour)

2006-09-05 19:34:47 · 19 answers · asked by chapped lips 5 in Polls & Surveys

"heres to the times we felt alive heres to goodbye tomorrows gonna come too soon"


and whats it called....

2006-09-05 19:34:08 · 6 answers · asked by manduhlynn007 2 in Music

At least he was doing what he loved.

it's so sad to lose a great man like him. :'(

*May he rests in peace*

2006-09-05 19:34:00 · 15 answers · asked by ? 3 in Celebrities

2006-09-05 19:32:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-05 19:30:52 · 8 answers · asked by Bobbie V 1 in Celebrities

It's just come to Kyoto. Is Woody on form?

2006-09-05 19:29:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

Two little old ladies are at a very long church service.

After a while, one says to the other, "My butt is asleep."

Her friend responds, "Yes, I know. I have heard it snore three times now!!"

2006-09-05 19:29:08 · 9 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

For some reason I can't shake the feeling that I've heard the name Chesterfield Copperpot somewhere before. The name just "popped" in my head tonight and now I can't seem to remember where I've heard it. I want to say it's the name of a fictional character, perhaps in a novel or film.

2006-09-05 19:27:54 · 20 answers · asked by rabbitnckick 2 in Movies

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best
to rain on your parade. Remember this story the next time someone who knows
nothing and cares less makes your life miserable!!

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome
with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who
responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and
dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you
getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?" she asked.

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called
'Teste'."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be
something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in
the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced.
So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of
Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up
to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great!
They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the
finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and
gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "That's all well and good, but I know you
didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet
some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room
and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough,
five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I
knelt down and he spoke a few words to me"

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get that shitty hairdo?"

2006-09-05 19:27:19 · 6 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-05 19:27:11 · 24 answers · asked by da dude 4 in Polls & Surveys

Do you get a bonus on diwali/ christmas? What do u usually do with the money? I usually just spend it but this year I wanna do smthg different...

2006-09-05 19:27:07 · 14 answers · asked by Nisha 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-05 19:26:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

2006-09-05 19:25:51 · 8 answers · asked by chapped lips 5 in Movies

2006-09-05 19:25:40 · 16 answers · asked by rekha c 3 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-05 19:25:26 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

For some odd reason I picture Wolverine clawing me down.

2006-09-05 19:25:07 · 16 answers · asked by 9987 4 in Magazines

i cant really tell. I mean ive seen sum fat on her ribs n she has sum big thighs n a ghetto booty like bammm

2006-09-05 19:24:47 · 21 answers · asked by Bobbie V 1 in Celebrities

2006-09-05 19:23:44 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1 in Polls & Surveys

There are more churches in Las Vegas than Casinos. During Sunday
services at the Offratory, some worshippers contribute Casino Chips as
opposed to cash.

Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win. Since there
are so many Casinos, the Catholic churches send all the chips into the
diocese for sorting.

Once sorted into the respective casino chips one junior priest takes the

chips and makes the rounds to the casinos turning chips into cash.

And he is known as .

Are you ready?

You're going to love this-





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The CHIP-MONK

2006-09-05 19:22:39 · 4 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

How was The View with Rosie O'Donnell today? I can't STAND her!! Everyone on the show but Barbara Walters bugs me now. Just want to see what people thought of Rosie.

2006-09-05 19:22:01 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

2006-09-05 19:20:58 · 24 answers · asked by Bobbie V 1 in Celebrities