A female student shows up during a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels at his feet,
pleading...
"I would do anything to pass the exam".
She leans closer to him, flipping back her hair, gazing meaningfully
into his eyes and sensuously whispers "I mean..., I would do....
anything!!!".
He returns her gaze. "Anything???"
"Oh yes" she said, "anything!"
He stared into her eyes, and in a whisper said "Would you.....
Study?"
=====================================
The Top 14 Tips for Surviving College
14. Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
13. Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of
your life.
12. Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and
games until someone loses their 'nads.
11. Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain
remover.
10. Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into
lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.
9. If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
8. Boring lecture? Start a wave!
7. College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen
Noodle dinner.
6. "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state
colleges.
5. Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.
4. Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-
page senior essay.
3. Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.
2. Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it
as "acing Biology."
and the Number 1 Tip for Surviving College...
1. In a pinch, beer can be used as a milk substitute in your
breakfast cereal.
===================================
The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making
$80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years
2006-06-26
08:05:18
·
3 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles