1 I bet if you reached total enlightenment while drinking beer, it would make beer squirt out your noise.
2 When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.
3 Once my friend told me that he had found Jesus. I thought to myself, "WooHoo, we're rich!" It turns out he meant something different.
4 It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
5 I was taking my little nephew to Disneyland, but i decided to play a mean trick. i pulled up next to an old, burned down warehouse. "Oh no," i said. "Disneyland burned down." He started crying, and i was about to tell him it was all a joke and drive to the real Disneyland, but it was getting kinda late.”
6 To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
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2007-11-03
15:19:38
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Laugh man
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