I'm struggling today. I have been thinking about suicide alot as a way out. I'm a very very lonely recovering alcoholic.
I got AA meetings nearly everyday, but in 3 years I have yet to make a single friend. I used to have people I thought were my friends, but they were actually my ex-girlfriend's friends.
I have severe money problems, no one to talk about them (people in AA criticize you if you do) and feel like drinking all the time. I know where that will lead me.
I cannot understand why, if god really loves me, why does he want me to be alone all the time? Is this god's will for me, suicide? Never ending lonliness?
There is going to be a party this weekend, it's my ex-girlfriends anniversary. Of course I'm not invited.
I have asked god to put someone in my life this weekend. I'm willing to be patient and wait until then. If I leave my Saturday AA meeting alone again, I will have my answer and I plan to hang myself.
Does anyone have suggestions?
2006-07-27
02:20:34
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31 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Religion & Spirituality