MY grandfather, Mickey Spillane, passed away this morning, and I wasn't there for him. To make a long story fairly shorter, my grandmother offends everyone and used to make me cry for calling me fat. She instilled guilt on me for hating my junkie mother who has avoided me and my sister. She has shown me the horrible side of people, so I stayed away from her. But that made me stay away from one of the greatest people in my life. And now it's too late to visit him and explain why I've been gone. I feel horrible. I wonder what his thoughts were about me before he died. I wonder if he thought that I abandoned him. It hurts. I don't know what to say. There's many details that might change your answers, but this is the gist of my problem. I'm sad that he passed away, but what really kills me was that I let her get to me. I let her affect me so much, that I didn't go see him. That makes me feel weak. That makes me feel... like a jerk.
2006-07-17
16:28:54
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21 answers
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asked by
Anonymous