God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
**********
Dear Lord
So far this year I've done well.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
Amen
**********
Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'Phase one?' wonders Ken.
'Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.'
2007-12-31
08:52:52
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Jokes & Riddles