A few short New Year Jokes?

Question

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
**********
Dear Lord

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen
**********
Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.

'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'

'Phase one?' wonders Ken.

'Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.'

Answer 1

haha great thanxxx!
i see the trolls on patrolls are out again,phantom downthumber wan*ers,oh well,thubs up from now on to every question I go,if only others were like me..........xxx

Answer 2

gewgw

Answer 3

hahahahaha...excellent lol

Answer 4

lol

Answer 5

Good ones! :D
Have a star! *

PS. I didn't recognize your avatar at first ;)

Answer 6

These were GREAT your hot tonight!!

LOL & LOL some more!!

Happy New Year !!

Answer 7

I'm not going for it! I like your avatar, though! lol.

Answer 8

excellent hun, pmsl

star time

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 9

star4u

Answer 10

lol