Entertainment & Music - 29 October 2007

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. "

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story :

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak"

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."


The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

2007-10-29 02:46:48 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

i heard from someone when you turn 25 everyone considers you the start of getting old?....is that true? serious answers

2007-10-29 02:45:47 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:45:44 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:45:08 · 44 answers · asked by blahblahblah 1 in Polls & Surveys

Exactly how would you go about it? ♥

2007-10-29 02:44:22 · 19 answers · asked by tbm 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:44:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:44:14 · 16 answers · asked by Me:) 3 in Country

2007-10-29 02:44:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:42:41 · 44 answers · asked by Chav Princess 7 in Polls & Surveys

http://www.treehouse-company.com/40k.cfm

2007-10-29 02:42:01 · 27 answers · asked by Vivi 5 in Polls & Surveys

While On The Internet ?
I like to listen to Radio Stations from other Countries ☼

2007-10-29 02:41:34 · 55 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Mine is his smile! ;)

2007-10-29 02:41:00 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

been working too much kinda get lost some time ...

2007-10-29 02:40:15 · 15 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:39:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:38:56 · 7 answers · asked by Gnome 6 in Polls & Surveys

My song "Alice in Wonderland"
---
Refrain:
Alice you blond
this frog in the pond
Prince never will be!
Don't kiss him and flee

2007-10-29 02:38:22 · 17 answers · asked by Alice in Wonderbra 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:35:53 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Now be careful here, and use the appropriate *** signs to leave the real word to our imaginations or we'll all get kicked off here.

Anyways, mine is definitely, 100% the swear word 'B*ll&cks'

It just sounds so good when you say it, like direct and defined and to the point, that's my favourite, I even sometimes follow it up with 'big fat sweaty b*ll&cks' HAHA

Would love to hear yours.......

2007-10-29 02:34:39 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I want bacon and cheddar in it with wheat toast and hash browns. Don't forget the chocolate milk!

2007-10-29 02:34:38 · 22 answers · asked by Rosie aka Rosie 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:34:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

best music (especially for pop & r&b), the best movies, the best tv shows, the best of ALMOST EVERYTHING!!! Now in todays world, it just seems like that everything is just so not good but what can i say, u can only get a good decade only once or twice. maybe the reason why i am stating this is because i am someone who grew up in the 90's, & i feel like the 90's was the best, DON'T U THINK SO?

2007-10-29 02:33:51 · 16 answers · asked by ShullyR 1 in Other - Entertainment

sorry, but i kinda am. i get to stay home with the baby (who is extremely well behaved most the time) sleep until 9am while my partner goes to work and i get to hang out in my pajamas all day and drink coffee. plus the weekend P&S crowd is kind of lame and humourless. are you glad its Monday? haha.

2007-10-29 02:33:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:30:59 · 15 answers · asked by Chachee 4 in Polls & Surveys

I like oil of olay and that's the only one I use.

2007-10-29 02:30:30 · 11 answers · asked by imahlah 6 in Polls & Surveys

I mean, you play with every venomous snake in the world, every vicious carnivore, how are you NOT supposed to think you'll die young?

2007-10-29 02:29:02 · 4 answers · asked by Mr. Vincent Van Jessup 6 in Polls & Surveys

i think research is a much more accurate term...
stalking just seems soooo sooo, i dunno psycho??? :)

2007-10-29 02:28:49 · 21 answers · asked by Mrzknowitall GCG 4 in Polls & Surveys

I am creating a new blog and this is my first blog.
i need a catchy title.
the blog is mainly of day to day life and computers!!

the best title gets 10 points!!

2007-10-29 02:28:36 · 20 answers · asked by ♠The Boss♠ 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-29 02:28:19 · 16 answers · asked by PRETTYGIRL 4 in Movies

I need a day off to catch up on personal business.

2007-10-29 02:28:02 · 18 answers · asked by Squirt 7 in Polls & Surveys

well someone i know told me that after a certain amount of points yahoo will send you a free totebag.....I could not believe this but that person did show it to me and it was from Yahoo questions and answers..Have any of you out there gotten anything from yahoo for answering questions????Should i expect something soon when i hit level 5??? I want my free gift too!!

2007-10-29 02:27:22 · 22 answers · asked by robin r 6 in Polls & Surveys