A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach. He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him.
The first says to him, "Have you ever been hugged?"
The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug.
The second says to him, "Have you ever been kissed?"
He shakes his head. She kisses him.
Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, "Have you ever been f*#*/d?!
"No," says the man, his eyes lighting up.
"Well, you are now....the tide's coming in."
~~~~~~~
Two Scotsmen are walking down a country lane.
"Och, Duncan," says Jimmy all of a sudden. "I dinnae half need a s#/t."
"Well, just go behind a bush and do it, then," replies his mate.
So Jimmy goes behind a bush, and after a while he shouts, "Have you got any paper?"
To which Duncan replies, "Och, don't be such a tight-fisted b*#*#*d. :o)
2007-03-12
12:18:44
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21 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles