A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach. He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him.
The first says to him, "Have you ever been hugged?"
The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug.
The second says to him, "Have you ever been kissed?"
He shakes his head. She kisses him.
Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, "Have you ever been f*#*/d?!
"No," says the man, his eyes lighting up.
"Well, you are now....the tide's coming in."
~~~~~~~
Two Scotsmen are walking down a country lane.
"Och, Duncan," says Jimmy all of a sudden. "I dinnae half need a s#/t."
"Well, just go behind a bush and do it, then," replies his mate.
So Jimmy goes behind a bush, and after a while he shouts, "Have you got any paper?"
To which Duncan replies, "Och, don't be such a tight-fisted b*#*#*d. :o)
2007-03-12 12:18:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I like those especially the last one .
2007-03-12 12:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i liked the first one
the 2nd one would be funnier if the scotsmen were on a beach and a man with no arms or legs washed up and he just took a crap on him (or if he was f#$%%& behind a bush by the guy).. stupid and sick but funny. i'll give you a star for it, made me laugh.
2007-03-12 13:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by Grand Ninja Ted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one's old and the second one's not funny, sorry. 2/10
2007-03-12 12:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I liked the first one only srry tell more though
2007-03-12 13:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by *Dat*-*Libra*-*Cutie* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha I LOVE the first one, lol.
2007-03-12 12:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Interpreted 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG i really loved the first one!! 10+
2007-03-12 12:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by spongebobzgurll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaahhahahah
(2 points for laughing)
2007-03-12 12:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the fist one. It makes me laugh.....well a little.
2007-03-12 12:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by Bree_to_the_anna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heard them but the first one is still funny....lol
2007-03-12 12:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by dteacher1uk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one is quite funny. But what had me laughing harder is that avatar of yours. But no offense. A sense of humor should be well appreciated.
2007-03-12 12:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋