Entertainment & Music - 21 February 2007

2007-02-21 20:01:00 · 16 answers · asked by Lone Ranger 2 in Polls & Surveys

One day a doctor calls an elderly man and tells him he has some good news and some bad news about his condition.

The doctor says, "I have some good news and bad news for you. The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

The old man says,"That's the good news?! Then what's the bad news?"

The doctor calmly replies,"I was supposed to tell you yesterday."

Whats the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls.

Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the prxcks on the outside!!!

2007-02-21 19:59:20 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

so you'll finish?

2007-02-21 19:58:36 · 29 answers · asked by ........ 3 in Polls & Surveys

Sticks to each others.

2007-02-21 19:57:24 · 5 answers · asked by laziifrog 5 in Jokes & Riddles

I'm a male and I want to become better at singing....well I want to sing. I'm a horrible singer and people tell me my voice is too flat, but I really want to be good. I've asked people around and they all tell me to do these weird vocal lessons, drink lots of water, and sing from my diaphram instead of my voice. I mean i try, but is there something to help people who aren't good singers to become better. 17 years old by the way. thanks. And a vocal teacher isn't really someone i need. Not yet anyways.

2007-02-21 19:55:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

a policeman walk in the park
and then he hear a man`s voice saying i will kill you!!
followed by the gun shot..(bang)
he came into the scene and he found a ,doctor,enginer,teacher and the priest..and the policeman arrest the priest..WHY??

2007-02-21 19:55:25 · 9 answers · asked by dumb h 1 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-21 19:55:24 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment"RENT FOR APARTMENT." On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
"Dear Madam:Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
1 - it had never been occupied;
2 - there was plenty of heat; and
3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

2007-02-21 19:55:12 · 5 answers · asked by Billy FZ1 5 in Jokes & Riddles

i cant stop laughin literally help...................................

2007-02-21 19:54:35 · 17 answers · asked by bandi 2 in Polls & Surveys

How do you think up a good question???

2007-02-21 19:54:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

do you happen to know the number of episodes of naruto?
how about the number of seasons?

2007-02-21 19:54:15 · 6 answers · asked by chitchiritchit 2 in Comics & Animation

Pick a side and I'll tell you what this is about later, kind of like gambling!

2007-02-21 19:53:34 · 31 answers · asked by Yahoo! "Spy" 1 in Polls & Surveys

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking tramp who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"

"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the tramp said.

"Will you use it to gamble?"

"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"

"Are you NUTS! I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars.

Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The tramp was astounded.

"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf."

2007-02-21 19:52:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

a Career Fair? I went today - good networking!

2007-02-21 19:52:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

It sounds very familiar - perhaps a Queen song?

2007-02-21 19:52:06 · 7 answers · asked by abcde12345 3 in Music

A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room. Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

2007-02-21 19:51:26 · 3 answers · asked by *♥short~sh!t♥* 3 in Jokes & Riddles

do you promise not to tell?

2007-02-21 19:50:48 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i think she needs help,she really does.

2007-02-21 19:50:35 · 31 answers · asked by unknown 1 in Celebrities

2007-02-21 19:50:27 · 16 answers · asked by Rachel _happy 1 in Music

2007-02-21 19:49:37 · 4 answers · asked by liquidmannequin 1 in Polls & Surveys

When all this used to be fields?

2007-02-21 19:48:43 · 14 answers · asked by ........ 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-21 19:48:26 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-02-21 19:48:23 · 9 answers · asked by Yahoo! "Spy" 1 in Polls & Surveys

A doughnut and some coffee?? One of those blended, iced coffee drinks... please!! Thanks!!

2007-02-21 19:47:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-21 19:47:32 · 5 answers · asked by spidey 1 in Celebrities

HIV, of the Osbourne family

2007-02-21 19:47:22 · 8 answers · asked by ~ Glorious~ 3 in Polls & Surveys

i think she needs help,she really does.

2007-02-21 19:47:21 · 3 answers · asked by unknown 1 in Celebrities

2007-02-21 19:46:50 · 8 answers · asked by Steven 2 in Music

IT'S A GUY THING"
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
"I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
"Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned.. but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

2007-02-21 19:46:34 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-21 19:46:22 · 9 answers · asked by Yahoo! "Spy" 1 in Polls & Surveys