Entertainment & Music - 10 December 2006

...do you choose the one you've never tried before?...


(EXAMPLES PLEASE!)...

2006-12-10 18:37:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

2006-12-10 18:36:44 · 7 answers · asked by devsmash 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-10 18:36:12 · 13 answers · asked by dianka(â?ªis a kidâ?ª)â?¢ 6 in Polls & Surveys

In msn. She's a *****. Copied all my likes,hates,what I do,acting like a hypocrite. gaaah.

2006-12-10 18:35:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

JANUARY
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
FEBRUARY
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!! bottles won't fit in typewriter!
MARCH
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
APRIL
Trapped on an escalator for hours.....power went out!
MAY
Tried to make Kool-Aid....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
JUNE
Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
JULY
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
AUGUST
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
SEPTEMBER
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it?
NOVEMBER
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 lbs!
DECEMBER
Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone! What an year!!

2006-12-10 18:34:56 · 38 answers · asked by Pd 6 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-10 18:34:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:34:54 · 3 answers · asked by Juxeski 2 in Music

2006-12-10 18:34:48 · 18 answers · asked by miss@merica 2 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:33:57 · 1 answers · asked by jhana 1 in Music

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smilin

2006-12-10 18:33:37 · 4 answers · asked by devsmash 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-10 18:33:15 · 2 answers · asked by kareena 1 in Celebrities

A few women have said I was cute. Is cute better than hot?

2006-12-10 18:31:57 · 24 answers · asked by Pauly 1 in Polls & Surveys

Dec. 14, 1995
My Dearest Peter,

The cute little partridge arrived a little while ago,
and the pear tree sapling came a little while later.
I'm not sure of the connection, but I love them.

Love always,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec 15, 1995
Dearest Peter,

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just
imagine, two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your
thoughtful gift. They are adorable.

All my love,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec. 16, 1995
Dearest Peter,

Aren't you the extravagant one. Now, I really must
protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French
hens. They are just darling, but I must insist, you
are too kind.

Love,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec 17, 1995

Dearest Peter,

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now
really, they are quite beautiful, but don't you think
enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec. 18, 1995

Dearest Peter,

What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five
golden rings - one for each finger. You are just
impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds
squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec. 19, 1995

Dear Peter,

When I opened the door, there were actually six
geese-a-laying on my front step. So your back to the
birds again, huh? These geese are huge! Where will I
keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't
get any sleep through all the racket. Please stop.

Cordially,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec 20, 1995

Pete,

What is it with you and those ******* birds? Seven
swans-a-swimming. What kind of god-damned joke is
this? There is bird **** all over my house, and they
never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and
I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny, so stop with
those ******* birds.

Sincerely,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec. 21, 1995

O.K. Buster,

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going
to do with eight maids-a-milking? It's not enough with
all those birds and eight maids-a-milking, but they
brought along their goddamned cows. There is **** all
over my lawn, and I can't move around in my own house.


Just lay off me,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec. 22, 1995

Hey Shithead,

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine
pipers playing, and do they play. They've never
stopped chasing those maids since they got here. The
cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over
those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The
neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours,

Dori

- - - - - - -

Dec. 23, 1995

You Rotten Prick,

Now there are ten ladies dancing. I don't know why
they call these sluts ladies. They've been balling
those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep
and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of
****. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpeoned me
to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm sicking the police in you.

One who means it!

- - - - - - -

Dec. 24, 1995

Listen Fuckhead,

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping on those maids
and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk
again. Those pipers ran through the maids and are
committing sodomy with the cows. All 23 of the birds
are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy.
I hope you're satisfied you rotten bastard.

Your sworn enemy,

- - - - - - -

Dec. 26, 1995

Dear Sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve
drummers drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict
upon our client, Miss Dori Drawers. The destruction,
of course, was total. All further correspondence
should come to our attention. If you should attempt to
reach Miss Drawers at the Happy Dale Sanitarium, the
attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight.
With this letter, please find a warrant for your
arrest.

2006-12-10 18:31:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-10 18:31:16 · 10 answers · asked by miss@merica 2 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:29:20 · 3 answers · asked by julia1975 4 in Horoscopes

2006-12-10 18:29:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:29:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i can't decide between sawyer, sayid, desmond and jack

2006-12-10 18:26:43 · 11 answers · asked by dianka(â?ªis a kidâ?ª)â?¢ 6 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:25:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:23:50 · 16 answers · asked by dianka(â?ªis a kidâ?ª)â?¢ 6 in Polls & Surveys

cordless mouse

2006-12-10 18:23:29 · 7 answers · asked by OOGLY 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-10 18:21:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Im SO pissed off right now-I spend lots on the sex and the city box set-with all the episodes-And that scabby company didnt have the common decency to put in the other endings that they made too- and they will prob sell them seperatly

2006-12-10 18:21:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

"Take on me" was the video.

2006-12-10 18:21:35 · 3 answers · asked by careercollegestudent69 4 in Celebrities

2006-12-10 18:21:14 · 3 answers · asked by Juxeski 2 in Music

2006-12-10 18:21:04 · 17 answers · asked by LaDy In ReD 2 in Music

i just saw the first episode and it seems a good show.

2006-12-10 18:20:34 · 9 answers · asked by dianka(â?ªis a kidâ?ª)â?¢ 6 in Television

What does a man and a rubics cube have in common??

The more you play with them the harder they get.

2006-12-10 18:16:52 · 14 answers · asked by Charles' Princess 1 in Jokes & Riddles

come on people now smile on your brothers,everybody get together,gotta love one another right now.
i kow i have the record but,can't remember who or the words

2006-12-10 18:16:35 · 6 answers · asked by jgmafb 5 in Music

A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"

2006-12-10 18:16:13 · 19 answers · asked by hey 4 in Jokes & Riddles