One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smilin
2006-12-10 18:33:37 · 4 answers · asked by devsmash 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Sorry Didnt Fit
2006-12-10 18:38:07 · update #1
MORRIS AND HIS WIFE ESTHER WENT TO THE STATE FAIR EVERY YEAR.
EVERY YEAR, MORRIS WOULD SAY, "ESTHER, I'D LIKE TO RIDE IN THAT HELICOPTER."
ESTHER ALWAYS REPLIED, " I KNOW MORRIS, BUT THAT HELICOPTER RIDE IS 50
DOLLARS AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS."
A FEW YEARS LATER, ESTHER AND MORRIS WENT TO THE FAIR. MORRIS SAID,
ESTHER, I'M 85 YEARS OLD. IF I DON'T RIDE THAT HELICOPTER NOW, I MIGHT NEVER GET
ANOTHER CHANCE."ESTHER REPLIED, "MORRIS, THAT HELICOPTER RIDE
IS 50 DOLLARS AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS."
THE PILOT OVERHEARD THE COUPLE. HE SAID, "FOLKS, I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
I'LL TAKE THE BOTH OF YOU FOR A RIDE. IF YOU CAN STAY QUIET FOR THE
ENTIRE RIDE AND NOT SAY A WORD, I WON'T CHARGE YOU! BUT IF YOU SAY ONE
WORD,
IT'S 50 DOLLARS."
MORRIS AND ESTHER AGREED -- AND UP THEY WENT.
THE PILOT DID ALL KINDS OF FANCY MANEUVERS. BUT NOT A WORD WAS HEARD.
HE DID HIS DAREDEVIL TRICKS OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BUT STILL NOT A WORD.
WHEN THEY LANDED, THE PILOT TURNED TO MORRIS. HE SAID, "BY GOLLY, I DID
EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET YOU TO YELL OUT, BUT YOU DIDN'T. I'M IMPRESSED!"
MORRIS REPLIED, "WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN ESTHER FELL
OUT,
BUT 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS!"
2006-12-10 18:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by dianehaggart 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ekekeeheheheee
2006-12-11 02:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt read it but it probably sucked *** and you just wasted time typing that. get a ******* life please.
2006-12-11 02:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by titsaremyforte 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
duh
2006-12-11 02:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋