The rules for combat:
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
The easy way is always mined.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in
high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity
with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to
both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on
the East coast, and the guy went to the West coast. They agreed to be
faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be
home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters.
Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't
take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails
trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a
new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.
So, what she did is this - she took a polaroid picture of her sucking
her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend
with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."
Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was
angry. So, he decided to get even with her.
He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad,
having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed
the picture to her parents.
2006-10-03
21:01:16
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10 answers
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asked by
al p
3
in
Jokes & Riddles