Dear Husband:
> >> >
> >> > I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
> >>good.
> >> > I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing
> >>to
> >> > show for it.
> >> >
> >> > These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
> >>that
> >> > you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
> >>week,
> >> > you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
> >>nails
> >> > done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
>
> >>negligee.
> >> > You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
> >>after
> >>watching the game.
> >> >
> >> > You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
> >>anything.
> >> >
> >> > Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever
> >>the
> >> > case is, I'm gone.
> >> >
> >> > P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
> >>moving
> >> > away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
> >> >
> >> > Your EX-Wife
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > Dear Ex-Wife
> >> >
> >> > Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's
> >>true
> >> > that you and I have been married for seven years,
>although a
> >>good
> >> > woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much
> >>to
> >> > try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't
> >>work. I
> >> > did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the
> >>first
> >> > thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My
> >>mother
> >> > raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
> >> >
> >> > When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
> >>confused
> >> > with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
> >>I went
> >> > to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the
> >>price
> >> > tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
> >> >
>brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
> >>your
> >>negligee was $49.99.
> >> >
> >> > After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
> >>it out.
> >> >
> >> > So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
> >>dollars,
> >> > I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
> >>got
> >> > home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I
> >>hope
> >> > you have the filling life you always wanted.
> >> >
> >> > My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a
> >>dime
> >> > from me. So take care.
> >> >
> >> > P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother
> >>was
> >> > born
>Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
> >> >
> >> > Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
2006-09-15
11:07:44
·
35 answers
·
asked by
neha
3
in
Jokes & Riddles