1. if its all the same to you, i wont be coming to work. the voices told me to clean all my guns today
2. on saturday, i set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour, and the other half back an hour and spent 18 hours in some freaky kind of spce time continum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). i was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source in the house, while simutaniously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up newspaper. accordingly i will either be in either late, or early
3. i cant come in to work today because ill be stalking my previuos boss. he fired me for no showing up at work
4. yes, i seem to have contracted some attention deficit disorder. and hey, how about that game saturday night, huh/ so, i wont be able to, yes, could i help you? no, no, ill be sticking with my existing telecommunications carrier, but than you for calling
5. constipation has made me a walking time bomb
6. i prefer to be an enigma
2006-06-29
13:27:58
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11 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles