All categories - 17 November 2006

- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

- Movie nudity is virtually always female.

- A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

- You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

- You can open all your own jars.

- Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

- Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

- When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

- All your orgasms are real.

- You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

- Your last name stays put.

- You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

- Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

- You don't have to shave below your neck.

- None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

- If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

- You can write your name in the snow.

- Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

- Chocolate is just another snack.

- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

- Flowers fix everything.

- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

- Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

- You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

- You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

- You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me".

- The world is your urinal.

- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

- One mood, all the time

- You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

- You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

- You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

- Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

- You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.

- With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

- You don't mooch off others' desserts.

- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

- The remote control is yours and yours alone.

- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a littlegift.

- Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

- You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

- You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

- You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

- If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.

- Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

- You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"

Things that suck about being a guy:

- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.

- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.

- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.

- Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.

- You have to wear ties.

- You can't flirt your way out of a jam.

- "Women and children first."

2006-11-17 23:18:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Recently he was suspended because he hit a teacher as a result of the teacher pulling on his backpack. It was a reaction not intentional. Of course, he is in the wrong for hitting but what I want to know is...Did she have the right to stop him from walking away by pulling on his backpack?

2006-11-17 23:18:41 · 7 answers · asked by Jennifer S 1 in Primary & Secondary Education

In the UK there are 40,000 registered addicts, but the real figure could be four times that number.

Up to 60% of crime is drug related. Addicts committing crime to feed their habbit,

If the drug was legally administered to all users by a Doctor, you would imediatley and drastically cut crime.

It would also diminish the power and influence of the international criminals who control the black market.

Heroine is a massive and destructive problem, should the solution be in the hands of the government and the medical profession where it can be regulated and administered in a controlled manner, or should it be left in the hands of criminals and the black market.

The drugs policy in the UK is not working it needs to be changed.

Or should we just leave it exactly as it is?

Your thoughts please..

2006-11-17 23:18:39 · 15 answers · asked by jesus 3 in Other - Society & Culture

I need a list of required components (preferably cheaplyl sourced) and tools required. Also any changes that will need to be made to the bike and the motor used. I'm a fast learner and want to try it but I have no technical knowledge. I want a pollution free transport method but I can't afford to buy an expensive new one (cost over GBP500!). Based in UK.

2006-11-17 23:18:19 · 3 answers · asked by Henry R 2 in Maintenance & Repairs

My heads been hurting everday since I was in 6th grade and now Im the 9th grade.

2006-11-17 23:18:12 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Allergies

i have 2 children - considering a third - just curious to hear from other parents about this.my daughter(1st born) was 8pd1oz & my son was 9pd3oz.

2006-11-17 23:18:06 · 10 answers · asked by chocaholic 2 in Newborn & Baby

He's already eaten my Pet Rabbit and six White mice.

I fear for my Gerbils. He might get hold of them if I am not careful!

2006-11-17 23:17:57 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Reptiles

whenever i try to connect to my wireless network a message "renew your IP" appears... what should i do?

2006-11-17 23:17:53 · 4 answers · asked by Alexander H 1 in Computer Networking

plz tell me r genuine opinion abt masturbation......i am a male n i have been masturbating atleast once a week 2 get rid off stupid senses for the las 6 or 8 yrs !!.....will tat affect my fertility

2006-11-17 23:17:53 · 13 answers · asked by srk 2 in Men's Health

2006-11-17 23:17:51 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

who wrote the music originally; the trumpet section etc.

2006-11-17 23:17:44 · 2 answers · asked by lexoooooooo 1 in Music

huh?

2006-11-17 23:17:40 · 7 answers · asked by Spawn 3 in Movies

or is it just that his expectations are so high, the month he aint doing so well, people think that?

2006-11-17 23:17:35 · 11 answers · asked by Marilyn F 1 in Other - Football

genuine and nice peeps in here?

2006-11-17 23:17:34 · 11 answers · asked by mebbe_sew_mebbe_knot 1 in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-17 23:16:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-17 23:16:34 · 22 answers · asked by bluepoppypark 1 in Astronomy & Space

2006-11-17 23:16:27 · 1 answers · asked by thomasfhickey 2 in Subaru

2006-11-17 23:16:27 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Christmas

2006-11-17 23:16:03 · 10 answers · asked by tanny 3 in Zoology

2006-11-17 23:16:03 · 6 answers · asked by kaps 1 in Marriage & Divorce

ok here is the deal we have been married 3 years now and physically I have not changed any, well groomed and clean,aside from the sex issue we have a great relationship talk and laugh and have a goodtime no matter what we are doing, but he just does not ever seem interested in having sex unless I bring it up and then when we do it is great but we can go months without it if I don't mention it, of course he is more than happy to receive a bj in the car if he is feeling randy but nothing beyond that, I have talked to him about this and he says he loves me and feels that I am sexy and that I turn him on but no matter how many times we talk about it nothing changes it's like we never talked at all and I know he masturbates in the morning I have caught him doing it, he does not know that I know, I asked him if he masturbates and he said no and I know he is lying about it. I do not believe he is cheating on me just due to our work and the time we spend together I mean it is always possiable but I don't think that is it. please help, I just don't know what to do anymore. thank you

2006-11-17 23:15:53 · 16 answers · asked by Christal D 1 in Marriage & Divorce

2006-11-17 23:15:53 · 17 answers · asked by sistablu...Maat 7 in Religion & Spirituality

i went to detroit to waterblast these 3 600 yard long tunnels and like hurt my back trying to git er done you know and had to go to the chiropractor to crack my back then i came home early on the job they are pissed cuz i left at work the boss is mad whos right?
me or them

2006-11-17 23:15:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

We are doing networking for new office and electrical work also.The electrical engineer want to put both the Cat5 cable & electrical cables together in one box.Is there any problem if we put them together?

2006-11-17 23:15:02 · 4 answers · asked by dummie 1 in Computer Networking

Thankyou!

2006-11-17 23:14:52 · 10 answers · asked by huskyrex 1 in Music

2006-11-17 23:14:48 · 2 answers · asked by robjoss 2 in Comics & Animation

I work with a lot of gay men and we get on great , he hates it and says things like" how come women love gay men"I dont understand his rational at all

2006-11-17 23:14:22 · 17 answers · asked by tori 3 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

2006-11-17 23:14:21 · 9 answers · asked by Sly_Old_Mole 7 in Other - Computers

I just want to have some good upbeat songs for when I work out any ideas???

2006-11-17 23:14:13 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

I love to my wife, I do not unerstand what she is likeing, & what she is likeing that I do not tell her mistakes evenif it is correct,
What she is thinking that she is rite always, She is not behaveor ing like a maturity level, how can i convencie to she,

2006-11-17 23:14:10 · 8 answers · asked by Jagdish 1 in Family