- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- Movie nudity is virtually always female.
- A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
- Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
- When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
- All your orgasms are real.
- You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
- If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
- You can write your name in the snow.
- Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
- Flowers fix everything.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
- Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
- You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
- You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
- You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me".
- The world is your urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- One mood, all the time
- You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
- You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
- Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
- You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
- With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
- You don't mooch off others' desserts.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- The remote control is yours and yours alone.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a littlegift.
- Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.
- You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
- You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
- You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
- If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
- Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
- You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
Things that suck about being a guy:
- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
- Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
- You have to wear ties.
- You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
- "Women and children first."
2006-11-17 23:18:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
tah mate, I'll copy that with discretion, if u don't mind. lol.
2006-11-17 23:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A guy can look in a mirror and not need to "fix" anything
A guy does'nt need a friend to go to the bathroom
A guy can go shopping for shoes and only buy ONE pair.
Alcohol only adds character.
I guy will never care if his outfit makes his bum looks big.
Chances are its hangiing out over top allready
2006-11-18 08:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by TOP DOG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never feel compelled to stop a buddy from getting Laid , ....aint it the truth lol
2006-11-18 07:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by Terry S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women will never be equal until they can walk down the street bald with a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
2006-11-18 07:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by kevin_4508 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Even with all the down stuff. Being a guy is great.
I don't like the phrase ,"Dirty Old Man".
I prefer, "Sexy Senior Citizen"
2006-11-18 07:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by Cal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Add for your good about being a man list:
-don't need to worry bout that baby in your stomach
-don't need to wash after peeing
-don't need to worry bout your hair and how you look
Add for italian gurl's good bout being woman list:
-we can wear any kind of bottom(skirt scort shorts pants)
-everything around us are "girls" (example, instead of saying the car's beautiful u say SHE's a beauty.)
-dont need to shave your beard(lol)
2006-11-18 09:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u don't need to worry more about ur daily life
u r a free person
2006-11-18 07:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by diver 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that was quite funny, true, and also men dont have to push an 8lb baby out of them. imagine that one
2006-11-18 07:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by rOxY 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you're right. plus if your poor, as i was when i was a child, you always had something to play with.
2006-11-18 07:24:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
u r right, if i could i'll give u 100/10
2006-11-18 07:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by Vijay Anand 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋