Entertainment & Music - 15 December 2007

Flatulence: Emergency vehicle that picks you up after
you are run over by a steamroller.
Gossip: A person who will never tell a lie if the
truth will do more damage.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are
wonderful even though they're sure you're not
raising
them right.
Grocery list: What you spend half-an-hour writing,
then forget to take with you to the store.
Handkerchief: Cold storage.
Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.
Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.
Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still
vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be, as long
as they do everything we say.
Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the
paper.
Kissing: A means of getting two people so close
together that they can't see anything wrong with each
other.
Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full
of loot.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.

2007-12-15 23:23:14 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

3 ⤊

Do men get Morning sickness?

2007-12-15 23:22:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

10 ⤊

Strange Word Definitions 2/5....funny ?

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Benign: What you be after you be eight.

Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.

Burglarize: What a crook sees with.

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are
born and after they are dead.

Classic: A book that people praise, but do not read.

Clothes dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

Coffee: A person who is coughed upon.

College: The four-year period when parents are
permitted access to the telephone.

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.

Control: A short, ugly inmate.

2007-12-15 23:22:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

24 ⤊

Strange Word Definitions 1/5....funny ?

Let's delve into the wonders of our language with a
few reminders that even everyday words and expressions
can be a source of amusement—with the proper twist, of
course.

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.

Account: A countess' husband.

Accrue: The people who run a ship.

Acoustic: A stick used to play pool.

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.

Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has
gone through labor to have sex again.

Antique: An item your grandparents bought, your
parents got rid of, and you're buying again.

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at
McDonald's.

Asset: A little donkey.

Atheism: A non-prophet organization.

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney: Where some skirt hemlines fall.

Barium: What we do to most people when they die.

2007-12-15 23:22:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

11 ⤊

Is it normal....?

For a man to have a craving for cheese and onion sandwiches
when being 6 months pregnant?

2007-12-15 23:21:26 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

22 ⤊

If you saw a girl (stranger) with a "red stain" on the seat of her pants/skirt, would you tell them?

would you tell a stranger they had menstrual blood (or anything they might have sat in) on their pants?

2007-12-15 23:21:19 · 43 answers · asked by Lady lovely locks 5 in Polls & Surveys

11 ⤊

What's the opposite of opposite?

2007-12-15 23:19:48 · 33 answers · asked by haha 3 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

Why do you females enjoy being treated like shlt by your boyfriends?

Because you dont like nice sweet guys because they are too boring, so you go for the cocky guys who treat you like shlt.

My question to you is why? is it because you enjoy the feeling of having to be submissive? is it because you want to try and change them? or is it because you just need something to moan about in life so you can moan about how badly your boyfriend treats you?

whats the reason girls?

2007-12-15 23:18:56 · 38 answers · asked by Fall Back 3 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

if ur life was a movie what genre would it be?

2007-12-15 23:18:12 · 23 answers · asked by Ruby 6 in Polls & Surveys

16 ⤊

Are you a lonely person or a social person????

2007-12-15 23:16:09 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

4 ⤊

If love was food, would you eat, smoke or drink it?

2007-12-15 23:14:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

16 ⤊

Do gnomes like Christmas?

I have been wondering about this. lol

2007-12-15 23:14:15 · 14 answers · asked by Alright 6 in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

where are you?

i m looking 4 u

2007-12-15 23:11:37 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

16 ⤊

How do you make your lovelife extra special?

2007-12-15 23:11:30 · 22 answers · asked by Buddy Hodor 7 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

Have you ever had a nosebleed..?

And sneezed at the same time?

2007-12-15 23:10:55 · 22 answers · asked by Huh 5 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

Who Do You Think Is The Worst Celebrity Out There?

I think Tom Cruise and Paris are contenders. Opinions?

2007-12-15 23:10:25 · 15 answers · asked by cats 7 in Celebrities

1 ⤊

A festive joke?

Hope you like = )

There were 3 men making their way to a stable by following the light of a star to see a baby. When they reached the stable they went in, one by one, but as the last one entered he whacked his head on the doorframe as he was very tall and exclaimed "Jesus Christ!"
The mother of the baby, Mary, turned to Joseph and said "Hey, let's call him that! It's better than Clive"

2007-12-15 23:08:36 · 9 answers · asked by ~Grace~ 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2 ⤊

What's up?

2007-12-15 23:07:58 · 16 answers · asked by Lynn Lonely 2 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Have you eaten bamboo shoots? Lovely aren't they?

2007-12-15 23:07:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

9 ⤊

What do you think about guys wearing pink ?

2007-12-15 23:07:01 · 19 answers · asked by Rock Kills Kristy 5 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

was hey jude the last song that hte beatles song as a group?

2007-12-15 23:06:49 · 4 answers · asked by kevinjvandine 2 in Other - Music

3 ⤊

what is your favourite song of all the time¿?

2007-12-15 23:06:02 · 13 answers · asked by ·aiDa*) 3 in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

Do you have someone you'll never forget and you'll always welcome into your life when he/she comes back

no matter what your current status is

2007-12-15 23:04:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

joke - did you like it?

A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in he lower.

At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying,

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied.

"Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married?"

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited.

And she says :

"Get up and take it yourself"

2007-12-15 23:00:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles