Entertainment & Music - 3 December 2007

8 ⤊

Curious little johnny...?

Johnny was 8 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.

Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described
EVERYTHING to his mother. 'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he started kissing and hugging herI figured 'Sis must be getting sickbecause her face started looking funny.
He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have
trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway.

He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet

2007-12-03 09:46:13 · 11 answers · asked by ♥Sabre♥ 6 in Jokes & Riddles

4 ⤊

Does anyone think it's about time for someone to think about scheduling that intervention for Amy Winehouse???

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=499349&in_page_id=1773&ito=1490

Holy crap, Batman!!!

2007-12-03 09:45:52 · 5 answers · asked by badkitty1969 7 in Celebrities

0 ⤊

Joke...........Bob & Martha?

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!" One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for almost an hour. She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

2007-12-03 09:45:15 · 4 answers · asked by shinersd 2 in Jokes & Riddles

6 ⤊

Taco Bell or Mcdonalds?

ill go for Mcdonalds

2007-12-03 09:44:57 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

What are you?

Are you a geek,a prep, a good student, popular,little popular, or jock, or stupid? or neither. answer pelase

2007-12-03 09:44:15 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

Music poll!?

Favorite music genre
Favorite group or singer in that genre
Favorite song by that group or singer

2007-12-03 09:43:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

14 ⤊

What's your favourite sandwich filling?

2007-12-03 09:42:49 · 49 answers · asked by *BURNY* 5 in Polls & Surveys

13 ⤊

What is one food that makes you say "yuck"?

2007-12-03 09:42:42 · 37 answers · asked by April 5 in Polls & Surveys

12 ⤊

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

Me not.

2007-12-03 09:41:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ASKING FOR US TO GIVE THEM stars??

whats the big deal, and I don't give them If people ask. do you?
it's like someone asking for a tip or something, I feel as tho I'm obligated to do so.

2007-12-03 09:41:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

5 ⤊

What is one category you would never touch on this site?

2007-12-03 09:41:39 · 16 answers · asked by Betwixt & Between 7 in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

When is war good?

i am wondering and thinking of all the reasons that war is good , does anyone have any ideas?boost of economie?Victory Over Terrorism?

2007-12-03 09:41:23 · 7 answers · asked by sammi 1 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

How many phone calls did you have today?

2007-12-03 09:40:30 · 22 answers · asked by WhatTheHay? 1 in Polls & Surveys

6 ⤊

Would you do anything for......?

a Klondike bar?

2007-12-03 09:39:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

9 ⤊

What can be worse than not having "Internet connection" for 24 hours ??

Of course there are worse things, but isn't it terrible to be without Internet ??

2007-12-03 09:39:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

18 ⤊

What is your?

favorite Christmas song?

Good Evening all♥

2007-12-03 09:39:15 · 11 answers · asked by ♥Livin' Life♥ 7 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

hugs or kisses?

please star mee

=D

2007-12-03 09:39:04 · 29 answers · asked by Yorkshire Gurlie ♥ 3 in Polls & Surveys

15 ⤊

Do You Believe In God?

If so, do you go to church? Have strong beliefs? Opinions?

2007-12-03 09:38:58 · 75 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Have you ever slipped over and hurt yourself?

2007-12-03 09:38:56 · 45 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

A BIG question and could someone sad person nswer it?

Is there going to be another Transformer film made and when is it coming out ?

2007-12-03 09:38:37 · 11 answers · asked by aleclove 2 in Movies

6 ⤊

What is the stupidest thing you got in trouble for?

Today I got in trouble for hugging my friend......

How stupid is that?

2007-12-03 09:38:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

Poll: Are you a risk taker?

2007-12-03 09:38:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

10 ⤊

Ever had a triple-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce?

You're a mean one.You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus.You're as charming as an eel.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.
You're a monster. Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul.
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You're a vile one.You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.
Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile.
You're a foul one. You're a nasty-wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.Your soul is full of gunk.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
You're a rotter. You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U