Entertainment & Music - 17 November 2007

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
=====

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
=====

Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
=====

Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
=====

Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
=====

2007-11-17 23:15:32 · 15 answers · asked by The Unknown Soldier 6 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-11-17 23:14:08 · 8 answers · asked by Nerdy Guy 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 23:11:37 · 8 answers · asked by Nerdy Guy 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 23:03:34 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i want to watch a scary movie that is actually freaky and not complete rubbish any suggestions??

oh and im not really into slasher movies

2007-11-17 23:02:24 · 15 answers · asked by chucky's niece 5 in Movies

2007-11-17 22:55:36 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

:o)

2007-11-17 22:55:34 · 60 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 22:55:20 · 12 answers · asked by j_emmans 6 in Movies

A feller took his two monkeys along to get them photoghaphed. "Do you want them mounted" The photographer ask. " No thanks " The man said. "Just holding hands"

The joke is cr.p but Ivor Joke is funny, aint it?
No,? O well I thought it was.
Maybe you can think of a better one?

2007-11-17 22:54:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

1. tv or computer
2. cats or dogs
3. clouds or stars
4. jeans or shorts
5. 360 or multiply

2007-11-17 22:51:07 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Is the fittest ?


I am a girl & straight, so try and guess my fave hollyoaks hunk.


And get the points.


:]


Easy as pie :]



1) Write who you like here
2) Write who I like here

2007-11-17 22:40:41 · 11 answers · asked by Zorro. 5 in Soap Operas

2007-11-17 22:36:08 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 22:35:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

You know you're a BRITISH 90's kid if...

1. You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air".
2. You remember when it was actually worth getting up on a Saturday morning to watch Live&Kicking (you know the number - 0181 811 8181!) or SM:TV.
3. You had a huge fringe at some point in your childhood.
4. You remember reading and watching "Goosebumps".
5. You took plastic cartoon lunchboxes to school.
6. You remember the craze of YoYo's and Tamagotchis (and the subsequent banning of them in school).
7. You still get the urge to say "Not" after every sentence. Not.
8. You knew that Kimberley, the Pink Ranger, and Tommy, the Green Ranger, were meant to be. <3
9. You collected Pokémon cards.
10. You played and/or collected Pogs.
11. You had a weird alien that lived in gooey stuff in a plastic 'pod' and thought that if you stuck 2 back to back they would have a baby!
12. You watched the original Postman Pat, Fireman Sam and Ninja Turtles (back in the day when they were 'Hero' Turtles).
13. You remember when the new Beenie Babies were always sold out.
14. You got your mum to buy 'BN' buscuits.
15. You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears but at the corners of your eyes.
16. You know the Macarena by heart and Saturday Night too.
17. "Talk to the hand".
18. You remember the time before Literacy and Numeracy hour existed.
19. You thought that Brain from "Pinkey and the Brain" actually could take over the world.
20. You remember Bum Bags, they weren't even cool then.
21. You always wanted to be on Fun House.
22. You collected Tazos.
23. 2 words, Spice Girls.
24. "Clarissa Explains It All" and "Saved By The Bell" were your favourite shows.
25. You wore as many shag bands as you could fit on your arm.
26. You remember Robbie leaving and Take That splitting up :'(
27. You wanted lights in your trainers like the cool kids.
28. Nintendo was replaced by Super Nintendo (sorry but the Princess in in another castle).
29. Computer screens were black (or green) with white writing.
30. Disney, Coke and MacDonalds ruled the world.
31. You thought that "South Park" was hillarious even if you didn't get half the jokes.
32. You had a Nokia 3310 (or really wanted one).
33. Michael Jackson was weird but still respected for his music.
34. All the boys had their hair in 'curtains'.
35. Nickelodeon was cool.
36. The Chuckle Brothers were not.
37. "Wax on, Wax off." Need i say more?
38. You wore Addidas 3 stripe joggers or poppers.
39. Nike Air Max and Reebok Classics were 'must have' trainers (and Kickers for school).
40. Girls thought blue mascara looked good.
41. Girls thought hair mascara looked good.
42. You remember Mr. Motivator.
43. You had scrunchies in every colour and hair bands with your name on it in glitter.
44. You bought Smash Hits Magazine for the song lyrics.
45. Everyone owned something from NafNaf or Fruit Of The Loom (probably in grey).
46. You ate Spicy Tomato flavour Space Raiders (and they were only 10p!).
47. Tammy Girl was where we got our cool clothes.
48. Good Saturday evening telly consisted of "Gladiators", "Catchphrase" and "Noel's House Party".
49. You loved CKone.
50. It's PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec.
51. Everyone ate Fruit Salads and Black Jacks.
52. Chris Evans presented everything.
53. You had at least one Troll.
54. You had / wanted / hated Furbys.
55. You remember that "Hooch" was the original alcopop.
56. You taped the Pepsi Chart Show.
57. "I know you are, you said you are, but what am I then?" was the answer to all insults.
58. You shouted "LEG IT!" when running away from something.
59. You wore jelly shoes.
60. You loved "Knightmare" and "The Crystal Maze" (which are now repeated on Challege TV!).
61. You were always singing the theme tune to "Round The Twist".
62. They will ALWAYS be Opal Fruits, not Starbursts.
63. You had a million gel pens.
64. You watched "The Poddington Peas".
65. You remember classic Levi's ads such as "Spaceman" and "Flat Eric".
66. "If you like a lot of chocolate on your buscuit join our Club".
67. You remember the craze of Sratch and Sniff.
68. You remember Sony Walkmans.
69. You know who Alf is.
70. You waited for TOTP to see who was number 1, especially on xmas day.
71. You wanted to / tried to make Tracey Island.
72. You compared football stickers in the playground "got, got, need".
73. Conkers was a serious playground sport.
74. You ever encouraged a chubby friend to do the Truffle Shuffle.
75. You know who loves Orange Soda.
76. You really wanted to meet Dave Benson Phillips.

2007-11-17 22:34:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I know they mean well...I think it's cute!

2007-11-17 22:33:40 · 13 answers · asked by MamiZ-Notorious Faithful Freak 5 in Polls & Surveys

...where's the best place to grow a sack ?

My roommate from U.S. told me to grow one but I am not familiar with this type of job?

2007-11-17 22:28:59 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

u r using windows xp or vista? n pls rate windows vista appearance frm a scale of 1 to 10..10 being best?thanks..

2007-11-17 22:27:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

and you should shoose only on 4 strangers or 1 relative??

2007-11-17 22:26:28 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 22:25:31 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I would pick OBITO!

2007-11-17 22:24:46 · 14 answers · asked by jayjay 3 in Comics & Animation

And.....prise the Lard out of the fridge.

2007-11-17 22:24:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 22:24:05 · 33 answers · asked by not me 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 22:22:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20071113/thl-china-health-condoms-offbeat-aa1aa08_1.html
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20071114/tod-india-society-animal-offbeat-451ab4f_1.html
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/oddlyenough-photos.html?imageUrl=/afp/20071111/r_p_afp_od_other/pod-lifestyle-skorea-toilet-d991bae971510&sp=-1
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/oddlyenough-photos.html?imageUrl=/rtrs/20071031/r_p_rtrs_od_company/pod-a-journalist-inspects-a-cd2899cee0000&sp=-1
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/oddlyenough-photos.html?imageUrl=/rtrs/20071029/r_p_rtrs_od_media/pod-university-students-mad-c7db2d2078280&sp=-1
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/oddlyenough-photos.html?imageUrl=/afp/20071116/r_p_afp_od_other/pod-thailand-military-aviat-40984790c7ab0&sp=-1
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/oddlyenough-photos.html?imageUrl=/rtrs/20071115/r_p_rtrs_od_other/pod-general-view-of-the-tow-99598bd92b6d0&sp=-1
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/o

2007-11-17 22:22:01 · 16 answers · asked by Est passé de velours ♥Rose♥ 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-17 22:21:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me.
She didn't even say “Good Morning,” alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember.”
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, “Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.” And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “By George, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go.”
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?” I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let's go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.”
“Sure,” I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. All were singing “Happy Birthday” and there on the couch I sat... naked.

2007-11-17 22:21:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-11-17 22:19:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping – Love you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"


"Well, you came home after 3am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!.. Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone *****, I'm married!!!".



Broken table - $585.26

Hot breakfast - $15.20

Red Rose bud - $10.00

Two aspirins - $0.30

Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless.

2007-11-17 22:18:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Fed up today.

2007-11-17 22:18:32 · 5 answers · asked by dollydagger 4 in Polls & Surveys

1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - "If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key"

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted," Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' - "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " - ' Is it common? ' - "It's not unusual."

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? ""No, because he's really heavy"

14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"

23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night

2007-11-17 22:15:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles