Entertainment & Music - 5 June 2007

2007-06-05 22:03:38 · 8 answers · asked by Shredder 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-06-05 22:02:42 · 2 answers · asked by chris b 1 in Movies

2007-06-05 22:02:39 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

CAN YOU ANSWER THIS RIDDLE?
Something that is better than God
Poor people have it
Rich people need it
And if you eat it you die

2007-06-05 22:01:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-06-05 22:01:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I ran into the back of a parked car yesterday, the driver was a dwarf and started shouting at me saying "he wasn't happy", so I asked him "which one of the sever dwarfs he was then?".

2007-06-05 22:01:34 · 8 answers · asked by Tooly 3 in Jokes & Riddles

I have a lot of Fun saying stuff like, "What are you, Some Bloody cheek." and Stuff like that. I'm American and I can say it beats the Heck out of " What are you a F*ckin Idiot." What is your Take.

2007-06-05 21:58:18 · 2 answers · asked by The Hitman 4 in Polls & Surveys

Actually, I don't find their new material as fantastic as the older one but it can't be helped 'cus the whole mainstream music went downhill after the 80's and that doesn't mean that their new material isn't great. But I like the way they maintained keeping up with the wave and not selling out nor hide away like most bands did... In other words I guess they're doing a great job in coping with the changes.

And isn't there any male who likes Bon Jovi (the band)? I can hardly find!!

2007-06-05 21:57:18 · 8 answers · asked by Kwassa Kwassa 3 in Rock and Pop

A man is woken every night for a week by the neighbours dog barking constantly, by the end of the week he jumps out of bed at 3am and his wife ask's "what are you doing" he replies "I'm gonna sort that flamming dog out!!", he returns back to bed 30 minutes later and the dog barking seems to of got even louder, his wife ask's "what have you done" and the man replies "I've put the dog in our back yard, lets see how they like it!!".

2007-06-05 21:56:01 · 9 answers · asked by Tooly 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-06-05 21:52:43 · 30 answers · asked by killer bee 3 in Polls & Surveys

I went to a charity shop yesterday and got a pair of white wedges for £1.50, they are the same as the one's advertised in Close magazine, on sale for £68,
So I got a bargain,
More money for BLING.

;-)

2007-06-05 21:52:40 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-06-05 21:51:35 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Jamie Foxx, Clive Owen, Joaquin Phoenix, Orlando Bloom, Leonardo Di Caprio, Jeremy Irons, or Val Kilmer?
For me, it would be a VERY hard choice between Val Kilmer (his lips, his voice!) and Johnny Depp (his eyes, omg, and his cheekbones..!). Honestly if in some alternate universe where all my fantasies come true, and they were both begging to take me on a date and I had to choose, I would be in such an indecisive state.

2007-06-05 21:50:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

If you don't like the question why bloody answer it .x

2007-06-05 21:50:03 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

someones gotta do it lol

2007-06-05 21:48:37 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...based on looks?I mean some of my answers have been really sarcastic or dumb & I still get voted for anyways! ; p

2007-06-05 21:46:39 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

... of the performance or because it is sad and reminds you of your heart being ripped out and stomped on repeatedly? Or something to that effect....

2007-06-05 21:46:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Guy seated next to a 10 Year old Girl on a plane,bored decides to stike up a conversation,"Lets talk" he say's,Girl reading a Book slowly closes it and say's "sure, wot would you like to talk about?"
guy=Nuclear Power
Girl=ok that would be an interesting Topic,but can I ask you this first
Guy=Sure go ahead
Girl=Well,a Hourse,Cow and a Deer all eat the same stuff Grass
Guy=Yeah
Girl=So how come, Deer excretes small Pellets,Cow a flat patty while a Horse produces clups of dried grass
Guy = Mmm! no idea!
Girl=well tell me then, do you really feel qualfied to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know Sh**!

2007-06-05 21:44:26 · 15 answers · asked by live life 4 in Jokes & Riddles

me and Mama listened to the radio station in Nashville..WSM was it? maybe..i sure would love to have some of those old programs....anyone know where i can get them?. i can still hear the advertisements in my head.Norma Jean,who remembers her,advertised something called Cardui(not sure the spelling) and.....go get a goo goo.it's good...that was a little jingle...boy! i did love those songs and the conversation.

2007-06-05 21:43:23 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Country

I love soup.

2007-06-05 21:42:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i know it was sung by one person and a current rock band redid the song only at a slower version, which sounded pretty good but i also dont know which band it is that redid the song. i think the original came out in the 60's

2007-06-05 21:41:49 · 2 answers · asked by eb49 1 in Other - Music

a sword from a stone if you came across it ?

Would the sword come out for you....if so, why ?

2007-06-05 21:40:38 · 19 answers · asked by The Unknown Soldier 6 in Polls & Surveys

The first place????? Brevity is fine.....I am now off to bed....Goodnight.....

2007-06-05 21:39:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If not, do you think they get turned down in the single's bars?

2007-06-05 21:38:52 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

who actually likes neighbours its so crap i hate it, so predictable and CRAP, and lower than b gradish

2007-06-05 21:38:51 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Drama

2007-06-05 21:38:06 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-06-05 21:36:37 · 12 answers · asked by Habt our quell 4 in Movies

A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her.
One day she calls home and a strange woman answers.

Wife: Who is this?
Maid: This is the maid.
Wife: We don't have a maid.
Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house.
Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there?
Maid: He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone whom I assumed was his wife.

THE WIFE IS FUMING
Wife: Listen, would you like to make $50,000?
Maid: What will I have to do?
>Wife: Take my gun from the desk and shoot him and the woman he is with.
>The maid puts the phone down. The wife hears footsteps and gunshots then
>more footsteps.
Maid: What do I do with the bodies?
Wife: Just drag them out and throw them into the swimming pool.
Maid: But there is no pool here.
LONG PAUSE > >
Wife: Is this 832-4831?

2007-06-05 21:34:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

what was it,

i kind of laughed at my cousin saterday, cos he was messing about and he lost the back of his earing, and he was just looking for it on the floor, and the floor was dirty becasue it had all cake crumbs, because it was a family gathering with children.

then one time a man was wearing drop downs- he was running then he fell and his trousers went down to his knees, then he tried to pull them up,whilst still running. then he fell down again

2007-06-05 21:34:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I wanted to share this, because it is about the funniest thing I have ever read, just wanted to share.
LIZARD BIRTHING

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome
including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the storybelow will have
you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what
happened...

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was
"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can
you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his
bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking
stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

& nbsp; "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Ber t and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to
reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she
inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most
loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she
informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I
shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced.

"We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"O h, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THA T just great! What are we going to do with a litter of
tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know (I really do think she
was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny
foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my
wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next
appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times
with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know "Maybe they could
talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my
house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

&nb sp; We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in h is lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be
so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but
this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little
animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to
you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In
fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see,

Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like
most male species, they um . ...um....
masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."

He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.
Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle.
And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I
married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's
just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny
little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled th e
lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad eve rything was going to
be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Lizards - $140...

1 - Cage - $50...

Trip to the Vet - $30...

2007-06-05 21:33:00 · 5 answers · asked by Tammy M 2 in Jokes & Riddles