Entertainment & Music - 24 January 2007

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
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>2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!”
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>3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it immediately sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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>4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
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>5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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>6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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>7. A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins! If you've seen Juan, you've >seen Ahmal."
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>8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
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>9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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>And finally:
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>10. There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

2007-01-24 03:18:40 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

1 ⤊

Does anyone else want to mourn the loss of John Stamos with me?

His answers to my questions have been eliminated and he's no longer on my watch list. How sad! Bye John Stamos.

2007-01-24 03:18:36 · 15 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Polls & Surveys

67 ⤊

How many people actually think that Michael Jackson molested those kids?

I always knew that Michael Jackson never molested those kids that was my Belief! Tell me what you Think, and why?

2007-01-24 03:18:21 · 16 answers · asked by mamania0625 2 in Celebrities

0 ⤊

Is it true...?

That you can have underwater sex? Don't report me people! I'm a curious person and I've never tried it!

2007-01-24 03:18:14 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Does a 40 watt bulb use more energy than the average teenagers brain?

2007-01-24 03:18:08 · 6 answers · asked by GreatHunter..... 2 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

My 10year old daughter wants to marry Zac Efron when she grows up. Should I let her?

2007-01-24 03:17:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

0 ⤊

Name the movie?

What movie is the following quote from?
"We need to work on our communication skills."

2007-01-24 03:17:38 · 3 answers · asked by squirttle_bunny 4 in Movies

5 ⤊

What was the last magazine you read?

2007-01-24 03:17:14 · 19 answers · asked by Joe Somebody 6 in Polls & Surveys

16 ⤊

Why does bouncing feel so good?

2007-01-24 03:16:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

where can i download (close to you by pachanga) freely and easily?

2007-01-24 03:16:47 · 2 answers · asked by underseas 2 in Music

1 ⤊

what is the song you listen to when....?

you are blue?
you are happy?
you are in love?

2007-01-24 03:16:27 · 24 answers · asked by Billie 4 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

I'm all loopy from the Cornflakes w/vodka & Vicodin..do u think my boss will understand when I call in sick

I have to be there in 15 minutes!

2007-01-24 03:15:08 · 8 answers · asked by ~LAX Mom~ 5 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

2007-01-24 03:14:45 · 9 answers · asked by Solitaire 7 in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

what name did jack-in-box use before coming back to old name?

2007-01-24 03:14:20 · 5 answers · asked by goodboywolf 1 in Television

0 ⤊

how will drinking creamy or milky drinks affect my singing?

i was told not drink creamy or milky drinks otherwise itll affect my singing, what kind of affect does it have?

2007-01-24 03:14:17 · 7 answers · asked by f_eljarad 2 in Music

7 ⤊

Does the amount of information available on the Internet still boggle your mind, or have you gotten over it?

2007-01-24 03:14:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Why won't kids walk where its been shoveled?

2007-01-24 03:12:52 · 13 answers · asked by GreatHunter..... 2 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

is it true that, a party aint a party till i run through??

leave it to my crew

2007-01-24 03:12:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

Did you here the one about the rooster?

A farmer had a rooster that would scr*w anything. One day he caught the rooster scr*wing a pig. The farmer said "rooster if you don't stop, someday you'll scr*w yourself to death.

The next day he caught the rooster scr*wing the ducks. The farmer said "rooster if you don't stop, someday you'll scr*w yourself to death.

The next day he caught the rooster scr*wing the sheep. The farmer said, "I think I've had about enough. You're going to have to leave the farm. Now pack your bags and get out of here. And remember, if you don't stop, some day you'll scr*w yourself to death.

Several months went by and one day the farmer saw the rooster laying in the middle of a dirt road, dead as a door nail. The farmer walked up and solemnly said, "I told you. Someday you'll scr*w yourself to death."

The rooster opened one eye and put a finger to his beak and said, "SSSHHHHH! Buzzards!"

2007-01-24 03:12:12 · 9 answers · asked by yagman 7 in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

if i were to take you on vacation, where would we be going???

u pick! and how could we make this vacation extra special?

2007-01-24 03:11:50 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Favorite Quotes?

What is yours and why?

2007-01-24 03:11:42 · 10 answers · asked by Jen 3 in Other - Entertainment

2 ⤊

does anyone know alexander o'neal?

2007-01-24 03:11:22 · 7 answers · asked by italienavecsesexcespointcom 2 in Celebrities

14 ⤊

whats the funniest joke you've ever heard? like laugh out loud for many hours funny not just mildly amusing...

mines "what do transvestites do at christmas? ... eat, drink and be mary"

it wasnt funny at first but then i kept on thinking about it and it became funnier and funnier!!!

2007-01-24 03:11:17 · 15 answers · asked by Knickers 2 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

name of the song in the gieco commercial, where he is on the moving walkway in an airport?

2007-01-24 03:11:12 · 5 answers · asked by DJNAKED 1 in Music