Entertainment & Music - 10 January 2007

2007-01-10 23:02:18 · 18 answers · asked by shez_a_maneater 3 in Polls & Surveys

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

15. All single women have a cat.

16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

23. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.

24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

27. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

28. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

29. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

30. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

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2007-01-10 23:02:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine
What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some more wine.

2007-01-10 23:01:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-10 23:01:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-10 23:00:57 · 2 answers · asked by kimberly 1 in Celebrities

ares is full of viruses is there a fast safer music download

2007-01-10 22:59:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

who is victor banister in sky one killer wave on the 10 jan

2007-01-10 22:58:40 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

I haven't seen Raab since Viva La Bam. He isn't on Bams website. And wasnt shown in Jackass 2 at all. Whats going on?! I heard that they were not talking and that he moved to Cali to become an actor.

2007-01-10 22:58:10 · 2 answers · asked by jumatrse 2 in Celebrities

A man goes to his doctor and says, ''Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem.'' The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area.

''It's all cleared up!'' the man reports when he returns. ''But what was that medication you gave me?''

''Lipstick remover.''..................................................................................................................................................



A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"

"Why sure," said the manager, "we have something that works especially well for that."

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. "No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

2007-01-10 22:57:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-10 22:57:26 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

vote
fergie or ciara


pick i need to no now plz

2007-01-10 22:57:16 · 17 answers · asked by lorie s 1 in Celebrities

I remember there was a stripper, n' it had allot of nudity..can anyone help?? thanks

2007-01-10 22:56:31 · 2 answers · asked by Coni M 1 in Music

2007-01-10 22:56:23 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

The joke finishes with someone asking the pianist, " Do you know you've just walked in with your flies undone and your tackle hanging out?" and the punchline is, " Do I know it!! I bloody wrote it mate!!"

2007-01-10 22:56:16 · 5 answers · asked by moomin papa 1 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-10 22:56:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-10 22:55:14 · 33 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7 in Polls & Surveys

What does Micheal Jackson like most about Twenty Eight year olds?

Theres twenty of them

2007-01-10 22:55:12 · 14 answers · asked by hank g 1 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-10 22:55:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

they were in fact singers and not outlaws?

2007-01-10 22:55:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

and it was a miserable failure. one person asked me to do it again so here goes...

i give u a sentence and the first person to reply follows on from me and the next person to reply follows on from the previous persons sentence/half sentence, NOT my sentence

so finally we have got a most likely, very weird story.
person with best link, gets the pts

oh and i like the words feisty, ravished, fantabulous and snuffles, so maybe use them......

starting point:

i woke up chinese...

2007-01-10 22:54:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-10 22:54:48 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

You had a choice between 'getting with your favorite star' or collecting $1 million dollars. Which would you choose?

2007-01-10 22:54:21 · 12 answers · asked by DrMikeonCall 4 in Polls & Surveys

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c300/Cinel/11636a20.jpg

and

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c300/Cinel/untitled.jpg

She was in a movie where she had just recently attempted suicide and had returned home. The character had a history on mental instability. Quickly the plot moves to everyone thinking she is paranoid when insists that there is some conspiracy going on involving her father who may have undergone military psychologocal experiments. I can't remember if she dies, is murdered or ends up in the hospital again, but for some reason I think her sister starts looking into the conspiracy when she starts to believe that her sister may not have been paranoid after all.

Does this actress, or the film ring any bells for anyone?

Thanks,

C

2007-01-10 22:53:29 · 1 answers · asked by Lenic 1 in Television

2007-01-10 22:52:44 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If I wasn't drunk I'd say the gorilla. If I was REALLY DRUNK I'd say Rosie....

2007-01-10 22:51:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-01-10 22:51:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

I alway let my dog off the chain give him a cuddly and then when I get inside my shoe are the first to come off.

2007-01-10 22:51:26 · 18 answers · asked by MJane21 5 in Polls & Surveys

and he has an orange for a head.The landlord says why have you got an orange for a head?the man says that he met a genie and it granted him 3 wishes,my first wish was for 100 million in the bank,my second wish was for world peace and my third wish was to have an orange for a head.

2007-01-10 22:51:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

i heard jazz listeners have 30% more sex than average people.

2007-01-10 22:50:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Where can I get a signed photo of Rachel Stevens? Is there a fan address I can write to?

2007-01-10 22:50:39 · 5 answers · asked by moomin papa 1 in Celebrities