Entertainment & Music - 9 January 2007

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers. "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"

2007-01-09 04:41:50 · 18 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-01-09 04:41:44 · 24 answers · asked by spun_up_06 4 in Polls & Surveys

Little Johnny was 12 years old and, like other boys his age, was rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from older boys and he wondered what it was like and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, his mother told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mom. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile then he turned off most of the lights. He then started hugging and kissing her. I figured Sis must be getting sick because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart just like the doctor would do. He was not as smart as a doctor because he seemed to be having trouble finding it. "I guess he was getting sick too because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it in her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and groan and squirm around and slide down towards the end of the couch. This is when the fever started. "I knew it was the fever because Sis said she felt real hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. A big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest. Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. "When Sis saw it, she got real scared, her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and started calling to God and stuff. She said it was the biggest one she ever saw...... I should have told her about the one down at the lake. "Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while her boyfriend took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel`s head to keep it from biting again. "Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it and he helped by laying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess he wanted to kill it by squeezing it between them. "After a while they both quit moving and a great sigh came forth. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, the eel was dead. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp with some of its insides hanging out. "Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle but they went on courting anyways. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly the eel wasn`t dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats with 9-lives. "This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After 35 minutes of struggling, they finally killed it. I knew it was dead because I saw Sis`s boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet....."

2007-01-09 04:41:13 · 4 answers · asked by *Dat*-*Libra*-*Cutie* 3 in Jokes & Riddles

Love it! I like my coffee shop, SoCo, 101X, Town Lake, Barton Springs...you might know what I'm talking about.

2007-01-09 04:40:51 · 7 answers · asked by lone_star_john 1 in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-09 04:40:39 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Grassy just confided top secret information with me on my 360 page and I'm BUBBLING OVER!! Grassy knows I can't keep a secret!!!


BTW- Grassy has AmusedOne tattooed on his ****...

2007-01-09 04:40:16 · 8 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Polls & Surveys

who thinks andy milanacus is funny

2007-01-09 04:39:47 · 3 answers · asked by kk 2 in Television

2007-01-09 04:39:40 · 6 answers · asked by Slayer Of Heart 1 in Movies

Twin
Queen
KIng
Water?

2007-01-09 04:39:31 · 10 answers · asked by ArchAngel Raziel 3 in Polls & Surveys

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

2007-01-09 04:39:25 · 4 answers · asked by *Dat*-*Libra*-*Cutie* 3 in Jokes & Riddles

give me ten funny reasons why you carry a cell phone :)

2007-01-09 04:38:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

to open a can of Spaghettios?

2007-01-09 04:38:40 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

to YA.

mildly, moderately, or immensely?

does it interfere with your life, or enhance it? just curious! ;)

.

2007-01-09 04:37:59 · 27 answers · asked by pursuit_of_happyness 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-09 04:37:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-09 04:37:43 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

2007-01-09 04:37:35 · 3 answers · asked by *Dat*-*Libra*-*Cutie* 3 in Jokes & Riddles

and virgins?

2007-01-09 04:37:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Is it good?

2007-01-09 04:37:19 · 5 answers · asked by I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! 2 in Movies

2007-01-09 04:37:10 · 10 answers · asked by monte the man 4 in Television

2007-01-09 04:37:05 · 7 answers · asked by I hate friggin' crybabies 5 in Polls & Surveys

one day it was a boy named Johnny Go Deeper and his teacher , johnny said teacher take off your shirt and bra off the teacher no. So johnny said if u don't do it i'll tell my mom my mom will tell my dad and my dad will tell the princpal and you'll get fired so the tecaher said ok than.So then jonny said take off your pants and panties off .The teacher said no so johnny said if u don'tdo it i'll tell my mom my mom will tell my dad my dad will tell the pricpal and you'll get fired so the teacher said okay.So then johnny said I'm gonna get on top of you.So then johnny's mom dad and the princpal walk in and johnny's mom said johnny go deeper and johnny said I'm tryin I'm tryin.

2007-01-09 04:36:49 · 4 answers · asked by *Dat*-*Libra*-*Cutie* 3 in Jokes & Riddles

Drugs or eating disorder?

2007-01-09 04:35:35 · 31 answers · asked by I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! 2 in Celebrities

Which one do you prefer? Should I put on the FRENCH MAID outfit,,or should I opt for the LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL one???

2007-01-09 04:35:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Brad and Angelina
-or-
Tom and Katie?

Im gonna have to go with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes...they are just ridiculous.
I mean, i dont like Brad and Angelina either, Im sick of all of them..but Tom and Katie are 10 times worse..What do you think?

2007-01-09 04:35:31 · 19 answers · asked by **CoLtS CrAzY18** 2 in Celebrities

I loved that show, but never really understood who actually killed her??? Wasn't that the point of the whole show?? Why did they not make it clear?? Or is it just me and I can't remember?

2007-01-09 04:34:21 · 3 answers · asked by Fairy Dust :*:*: 2 in Television

2007-01-09 04:33:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...look good on the dance floor...dancing to electropop like a robot from 1984?

2007-01-09 04:33:14 · 5 answers · asked by Superdog 7 in Polls & Surveys

here is the like for the song
and then answer please.

http://www.defendamerica.mil/specials/RedWhiteBlue.html

2007-01-09 04:33:07 · 2 answers · asked by dale_sr_021801 2 in Music

someone when they tell you that they are "just peachy"... if they are fuzzy,sweet and juicy?

2007-01-09 04:32:19 · 13 answers · asked by gonepostalinmo 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-01-09 04:31:43 · 4 answers · asked by A Toast For Trayvon 4 in Celebrities