Little Tony on Math
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a
fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little TONY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the
one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE TONY ON MATH
Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father?
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies
TONY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the ******* difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we
are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
example of a multi-syllable word?"
TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a
mouthful."
Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a
*******."
LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden,
he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take
a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word
to use in this situation The correct word you want to use is
'urinate'. Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
allow you to go."
Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an
eight, but if you had bigger ****, you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE TONY ON MORE GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked
for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful"
in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My
father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on
little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
called on little TONY.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father
that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ******* beautiful!'"
LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one
candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench
across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy
isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years
old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
time?" Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own ******* business.
I LOVE little Tony!!!!!
2006-10-31
13:21:55
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles