Entertainment & Music - 29 October 2006

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2006-10-29 02:52:56 · 19 answers · asked by I am NOT George Bush 3 in Polls & Surveys

It's so sad to see him these days. I love the guy and really respect his will and fighting hope. Rush needs to put a sock in it.

2006-10-29 02:52:38 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2006-10-29 02:52:01 · 10 answers · asked by cruix_delavista 2 in Music

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Let's take your car."
Really means...
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means...
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling

"Good idea."
Really means...
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means...
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means...
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done."
Really means...
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late."
Really means...
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Hey, I've read all the classics."
Really means...
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

"You cook just like my mother used to."
Really means...
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means...
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means...
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
Really means...
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work."
Really means...
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Will you marry me?"
Really means...
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means...
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means...
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Football is a man's game."
Really means...
"Women are generally too smart to play it."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means...
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means...
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means...
"What did you catch me at?"

"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
Really means...
"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."

"She's one of those rabid feminists."
Really means...
"She refused to make my coffee."

"But I hate to go shopping."
Really means...
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."

"No, I left plenty of gas in the car."
Really means...
"You may actually get it to start."

"I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys."
Really means...
"I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, with pre-evolutionary companions."

"I heard you."
Really means...
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means...
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means...
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present."
Really means...
"It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."

"I missed you."
Really means...
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet
paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means...
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means...
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means...
"I like you more than my truck."

"I recycle."
Really means...
"We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."

"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means...
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

"It sure snowed last night."
Really means...
"I suppose you're going to nag me about shovelling the walk now."

"It's good beer."
Really means...
"It was on sale."

"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means...
"If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."

"I broke up with her."
Really means...
"She dumped me."

"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
Really means...
"Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

2006-10-29 02:51:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

The kind that make you hot just hearing them. Ones that let you and your partner know - in no uncertain terms - what's about to happen. Nothing too fast, just sultry, sexy songs to "get it on" by.

2006-10-29 02:51:04 · 9 answers · asked by Lisa S 2 in Music

2006-10-29 02:50:25 · 1 answers · asked by questions 1 in Music

2006-10-29 02:49:20 · 1 answers · asked by questions 1 in Music

2006-10-29 02:49:13 · 14 answers · asked by ♫Pavic♫ 7 in Polls & Surveys

2006-10-29 02:49:08 · 22 answers · asked by ® Espresso ® 4 in Jokes & Riddles

1 pound of cotton or
1 pound of high density iron.
In normal room condition??

2006-10-29 02:47:29 · 13 answers · asked by Dheeraj D 1 in Jokes & Riddles

♥

2006-10-29 02:46:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and they all stink.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance.

I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next Wal-Mart Superstore site.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

What we could really use is the separation of Bush and state.

Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

If you can't read this, you're illiterate.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

He who hesitates is boss.

As they say at the Planned Parenthood Clinic, better late than never

2006-10-29 02:46:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

WTF happened last night???
What did i do?...
Or did i do that ?...
Were you naughty or bad as i may have been last evening?...
Or are you an angel?...most of the time...
Hmmm...
Just curious is all...

As that is exactly what i'm asking myself as i am starting to get messeges from others here...

Thank You for Your answers

2006-10-29 02:45:47 · 25 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

2006-10-29 02:44:50 · 7 answers · asked by sherri d 2 in Comics & Animation

peanuts, milk etc?

2006-10-29 02:44:14 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Hi-I was at the Barenaked Ladies concert at The Palace of Auburn Hills on Friday, Oct. 27. I am trying to find someone that purchased the download of that concert.

I bought a download coupon thinking that I could download that show at home, but it is not available.

I would be willing to trade or something. Please let me know.

Thanks!

2006-10-29 02:44:07 · 2 answers · asked by Captain F 2 in Music

2006-10-29 02:42:25 · 6 answers · asked by larkaloo 2 in Polls & Surveys

LOVE when your eyes meet across a crowded room
LUST when your tongues meet across a crowded room
MARRIAGE when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care

LOVE when intercourse is called making love
LUST all other times
MARRIAGE what's intercourse?

LOVE when you argue over how many children to have
LUST When you argue over who gets the wet spot
MARRIAGE when you argue over money

LOVE when you share everything you own
LUST when you think twice about giving your partner bus money
MARRIAGE when the bank owns everything

LOVE when it doesn't matter if you don't climax
LUST when the relationship is over if you don't climax
MARRIAGE what's a climax?

LOVE when you phone each other just to say "Hi"
LUST when you phone each other just to organize sex
MARRIAGE when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts

LOVE when you write poems about your partner
LUST when all you write is your phone number
MARRIAGE when all you write are check's

LOVE when you show concern for your partners' feelings
LUST when you couldn't give a rip
MARRIAGE when your only concern is what's on TV

LOVE when your farewell is "I love you darling"
LUST when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE when your farewell is silent

LOVE when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner
LUST when you only ever see each other in the bedroom
MARRIAGE when you never see each other awake

LOVE when your heart flutters every time you see them
LUST when your groin twitches every time you see them
MARRIAGE when your wallet empties every time you see them

LOVE when nobody else matters
LUST when nobody else knows
MARRIAGE when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows

LOVE when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel
LUST when it's just the same mushy old crap
MARRIAGE when you never listen to music

LOVE when breaking up is something you try not to think about
LUST when staying together is something you try not to think about
MARRIAGE when just getting through today is your only thought

LOVE when you're interested in everything your partner does
LUST when you're only interested in one thing
MARRIAGE when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score

2006-10-29 02:42:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

how do you delete an AOL Instant Messenger screen name? PLEASE HELP ME AND I DONT CARE IF THIS IS IN CELEBS!

2006-10-29 02:41:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anna 3 in Celebrities

2006-10-29 02:41:01 · 6 answers · asked by Reva G 1 in Music

ima be a fallen angel :)

2006-10-29 02:40:47 · 20 answers · asked by BlackHearted 4 in Polls & Surveys

Have put a PS2 game on Ebay and it has 15 hours appox to go until end of auction however it's at start price bid, and has only one bid made. I've looked the last two day's and my listing is not there and have had a friend check in out in his PC without any luck. Have you had this problem of your listing being removed, as this looks as if it going to cost me a lot of money. And can I contact Ebay without going via the faceless system they have. I live in the UK folks.

2006-10-29 02:40:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

One day a nun was visiting a catholic school to talk to the children. She asked one little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up and the girl replied "I want to be a prostitute" The nun was extremely shocked and shouted "God help you child!" before fainting. When she came round she was a little disoriented and asked the little girl what it was she wanted to be again, when the little girl replied with "A prostitute" The nun looked delighted and said "Thank heavens! I thought you said you wanted to be a protestant!"
You like??

2006-10-29 02:40:10 · 33 answers · asked by ~Grace~ 5 in Jokes & Riddles

and asks for a pint of lager and a ham toastie, the barman hands them over, the rabbits down the drink and scoffs the toastie, the rabbit then goes back to the bar and asks for a whiskey and a peanut butter toastie, the barman concerningly hands them over and the rabbit downs the drinks and scoffs the toastie, the rabbit returns to the bar and asks for a rum and coke and and a ham toastie, the barman now quite concerned begrudgingly hands them over, and the rabbit downs the drinkand scoffs the toastie, the rabbit returns to the bar and asks for a bitter and a marmite toastie, the barman says to the rabbit come on now mate no one mix their drinks like this and the rabbit replies, its cool mate i can handle my drink, so the barman hands them over. the rabbit downs the drink and scoffs the toastie, upon returning to the bar the rabbit collapses, the barman looks down at him and says i told you , the rabbit looks up and says it wasnt the drink it was the mixofmetoasties

2006-10-29 02:40:08 · 16 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3 in Jokes & Riddles

I think it's because of Suburban Sprawl.

2006-10-29 02:40:05 · 7 answers · asked by choosinghappiness 5 in Polls & Surveys

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A. Make him wear shoes.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
A. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A. Any place without a drive-up window.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A. His body.

Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A. A power failure.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. What do men and mascara have in common?
A. They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Q. What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A. They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Q. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
A. Sex.

Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
A. Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

Q. What's the smartest thing a man can say?
A. "My wife says..."

Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A. Because they're all pigs.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. When do you care for a man's company?
A. When he owns it.

Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have one in a million chance of becoming a human being.


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2006-10-29 02:39:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-10-29 02:38:40 · 8 answers · asked by Deleted 3 in Jokes & Riddles

Which film do you prefer?

2006-10-29 02:38:08 · 42 answers · asked by Darth Emiras 2 in Movies

2006-10-29 02:36:48 · 12 answers · asked by Deleted 3 in Jokes & Riddles

Due to unforeseen circumstances!

2006-10-29 02:36:28 · 13 answers · asked by Sir Sidney Snot 6 in Jokes & Riddles