be dressed and ready to go before you are?
get off the phone in a microsecond if he answers when your mother calls?
pretend he likes stars like Angelina Jolie and Cameron Diaz because of their acting ability?
drive 20 miles over the speed limit?
act as if his razor is priceless and should never be touched?
toss change, keys and credit cards on the dresser, no matter how many charming containers you provide?
hand you the 'lifestyle section' when you ask for part of the paper?
make elaborate snacks the minutes you’ve finished cleaning the kitchen?
be such a charmer with your best friend after you’ve privately told her what a beast he’s been all week?
drink milk from the carton with great gusto?
not understand the 'toilet seat thing'?
assume you will take care of gifts, cards and flowers for his family?
want you to make a fuss when he does some little household chore unasked?
say 'I’m listing to you' when he’s not?
get lost rather than ask for directions?
wait until you are dressed and made up to suggest a quickie?
Wash all the dishes in the sink, but leave the big, dirty pots and pans for you?
Be convinced, no matter what you tell him, bigger is better?
Stand at the refrigerator, shouting, ‘honey, where’s the mustard?’, when its right in front of him?
Spend hours measuring and making minute pencil marks on the wall when you ask him to hang up a few framed photos, then plop on the couch for the rest of the weekend with the weariness of a man who’s just single handedly built the railroad?
Take charge of everybody’s automatic window buttons in the car?
Say ‘I’m starving’ the minute you walk in the door?
Revert to the age of two during minor illnesses
Hit the shower immediately after sex
Be sent to the store with a detailed shopping list and return with fur six pack and economy size of corn chips?
Constantly ask, ‘where’d I put my keys?’ as though you watch his every move?
Complain there’s nothing on TV, but continue watching (and channel surfing) for the rest of the evening?
Observe that you have a closet full of stuff you never wear just as you’re leaving to go clothes shopping?
Leave his shoes in the living room?
Eat the last piece of leftover chicken and stick the empty plate back in the fridge?
Adjust his private parts in front of you, as if you’re not looking
Accuse you of having PMS
Hold an umbrella over you so that the rain invariably drips down your neck
Tell you to ‘shhh’ until the next commercial- even f what you have to say is important?
2006-10-27
11:21:28
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12 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles