Entertainment & Music - 16 August 2006

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger -- I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or baseball, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I am capable of announcing, "One more beer and I really have to go", and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what's the connection?

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FOR WOMEN, TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MALE ANIMAL.

2006-08-16 06:48:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I saw Steve Vai 4 times with David Lee Roth, pretty good Player, did all of Van Halens solo's no problem......

2006-08-16 06:47:33 · 8 answers · asked by Pete Allison 6 in Music

sorry if this distrubs u but my friend and i want to kno. he says it drops out of the plane and falls down in the air...lol im trying to prove him wrong.

2006-08-16 06:47:26 · 9 answers · asked by guitarchic93 1 in Other - Entertainment

a shout out to all my saggi ppl!!!!!!

2006-08-16 06:47:14 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

2006-08-16 06:46:56 · 40 answers · asked by ▲▼▲▼ 5 in Polls & Surveys

2006-08-16 06:46:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Its my birthday will you wish me a happy one and my favorite one will get 10 points

2006-08-16 06:46:22 · 6 answers · asked by Nikki:) 2 in Other - Entertainment

Fits what I am feeling and going through right now. Can someone help?

2006-08-16 06:46:22 · 3 answers · asked by stagephntm 2 in Music

I think there should be a remake of this movie using Bam Margera and his friends from Viva La Bam. Who would I pitch this to?

2006-08-16 06:45:41 · 17 answers · asked by Karen H 2 in Movies

2006-08-16 06:45:08 · 31 answers · asked by ashleymtfan 1 in Polls & Surveys

A woman goes into a hardware store to buy something for
her house. When asked the price, the clerk replies,
"the price of one is twelve cents, the price of
forty-four is twenty-four cents, and the price a hundred
and forty-four is thirty-six cents. What does the woman
want to buy?

2006-08-16 06:45:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

My friend says she about a 9/10. I say no way!. My guess is that she's about a 6..an 8 at the most! Curves are fabulous, there's nothing sexy about being a size 0-4!

2006-08-16 06:45:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2006-08-16 06:45:01 · 5 answers · asked by Sandy 2 in Movies

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up,
ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles
her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short
interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your
clothes?"

His wife replies, "You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay."

The husband says, "No, not at all."

His wife asks angrily, "Well, what the hell were you doing then?

The husband says," I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book".

2006-08-16 06:45:00 · 19 answers · asked by Kheisofuzen 3 in Jokes & Riddles

In every sense of the word. I would be, if I could only figure out these darn back problems.

2006-08-16 06:44:31 · 19 answers · asked by Fox Paws 6 in Polls & Surveys

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

10. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

12. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

13. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

14. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

15. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

16. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?"

17. My mother taught me about HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

18. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

19. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

20. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

21. My mother taught me about SHARING.
" I’m going to give you a piece of my mind!"

22. My mother taught me about FEAR.
"One day you'll have a child who'll do the same things to you."

2006-08-16 06:44:10 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-08-16 06:43:35 · 3 answers · asked by PinkySwearIt`sLove 2 in Music

I love that show it is so hilarious.

2006-08-16 06:43:29 · 13 answers · asked by Eric 2 in Television

What vintage tv show is this all about?

"The title for this show actually grew out of an in-joke within Danny Thomas's family. Whenever Danny was away on a nightclub tour, his children more or less had the run of the house. When he returned from a tour, it was time to spread out and ??????????? h
Hence the show's title."

2006-08-16 06:43:15 · 3 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6 in Television

I like the Sprouse Twins better!

2006-08-16 06:42:39 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2006-08-16 06:41:53 · 24 answers · asked by klunk 3 in Polls & Surveys

2006-08-16 06:41:33 · 30 answers · asked by lozzi_pop22 4 in Television

If the Bumblebee Man was based on the character El Chapulin Colorado (The Red Grasshopper) played by Roberto Gómez Bolaños. Why is the Bumblebee Man dark? I mean, the Mexican character wasn't anglo white, but he wasn't that dark either.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapulin_colorado

2006-08-16 06:41:11 · 7 answers · asked by Document Guy 2 in Television

2006-08-16 06:41:02 · 8 answers · asked by cparrow15 1 in Movies

i don't think so.

2006-08-16 06:40:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-08-16 06:39:43 · 25 answers · asked by klunk 3 in Polls & Surveys

2006-08-16 06:39:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...when you apply for a job, and they say "we'll call you" and then they don't? I mean, they don't say, "we'll call you if we want you" or anything like that. I think it's rude.

2006-08-16 06:39:14 · 14 answers · asked by persnickety1022 7 in Polls & Surveys

Who is going to die? Johnny or the Chief? And why do you think so? My opinion is Johnny will die, Janets baby will end up his and she will (much to Tommy's dismay,) name it Johnny

2006-08-16 06:37:25 · 4 answers · asked by kimmamarie 5 in Television

I think it is thats why I have it on now.

2006-08-16 06:37:19 · 4 answers · asked by BeautifulSin64 4 in Polls & Surveys