Entertainment & Music - 6 November 2007

Mercadies Blondes

There were these 2 blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to there Mercadies vehicle.They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a close hanger. The 1st blonde said," You need to try harder. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"

The top 10 jokes

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

2007-11-06 10:19:18 · 14 answers · asked by ski ice123 4 in Jokes & Riddles

10 ⤊

Ways to die in a classroom? Any ideas?

I'm going to start off the story with this guy running with scissors in a classroom. Then what could happen? The entire class (15 people) needs to die. =) I'm reading this aloud in class, so I'd like it to be funny.

I have some ideas but I'd like to have some more ways to die before I go on. Keep in mind that the setting is in an English CLASSROOM, so there's desks, non-working computers, pencils, heavy textbooks, etc. Please no chainsaws or pit bulls, lol.

2007-11-06 10:18:56 · 20 answers · asked by Me 7 in Polls & Surveys

6 ⤊

Americans, did you vote today?

You have until 8 pm if you didn't. I already did. (Well, technically, it was my mother's vote...)

2007-11-06 10:18:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

10 ⤊

Don't you wish yahoo allowed you to pick best answer right away instead of 4 hours later?

i say this because let's be honest. the majority of these questions are just a loophole around chatting.

I wish it allowed me to pick a best answer within minutes

2007-11-06 10:18:39 · 54 answers · asked by Sexy house music 5 in Polls & Surveys

35 ⤊

Underrated Blues musicians?

Who are some underrated blues musicians?

(Please, no SRV or RJ!)

I'd kick it off with Lonnie Johnson

Who else?

2007-11-06 10:18:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Blues

15 ⤊

Has anybody tried all these sites?

i have tried yedda and find it good but slow,but if enough people go there it would be better!
So can anybody tell me if they tried the other sites?

http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/question_and_answer_sites.php

2007-11-06 10:18:05 · 15 answers · asked by ....FED UP............ 7 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

Joke.......?

3 people (2 men 1 woman) get to the last stage in becoming a CIA hit-person.

The trainer explains that thay will be given a gun and asked to go into a room where their spouse will be sat in a chair. They have to shoot there spouse dead in order to become a hit-person.

The 1st man leaves saying he can't do it.

The 2nd goes through the door and after 5 mins come back out also saying that he can't do it.

The woman goes in and before the door is properly shut 6 shots ring out and then a lot of screaming is heard. She comes out and says "you b@stards you could have told me they were blanks, I had to beat him to death with a chair leg".

2007-11-06 10:17:14 · 12 answers · asked by cleocat 5 in Jokes & Riddles

1 ⤊

what does I HAVE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN really mean?? I know it is the lyrics for a song, but I am not a?

native speaker and I want to understand because I want to send a letter to someone I love and I would like to use these words. Please, help me?

2007-11-06 10:16:56 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lyrics

13 ⤊

Do you find yourself?

asking questions and putting them in P&S when it has nothing to do with a poll or survey. you do it just b/c you know all the freaks that hang out in P&S will answer them?

i do.

xD

2007-11-06 10:16:50 · 17 answers · asked by Whatsername 6 in Polls & Surveys

5 ⤊

Anybody ever get a "best answer" that was from way back when?

I just got one that was 10 months old!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-06 10:16:38 · 16 answers · asked by Gnome 6 in Polls & Surveys

7 ⤊

Does Black Friday put fear into your heart?

2007-11-06 10:15:26 · 21 answers · asked by AKA FrogButt 7 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

What is your job???

What do you do for a living?I'm still a kid,but I want to be a Vet tech.Its like a vet nurse.I can't open cute little puppies:(

2007-11-06 10:15:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys