Entertainment & Music - 20 February 2007

For three years, the traffic warden had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter.

Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

“Helen, why didn’t you write when you learned you were pregnant?” he cried. “I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!”

“Well,” she said, “when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin’ and talkin’ and decided it would be better to have a b----d in the family than a traffic warden.”

2007-02-20 21:27:07 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-20 21:27:04 · 8 answers · asked by chockybikky 3 in Music

anyobdy know any good rock or rap christian groups. i like sanctus real they are nice

2007-02-20 21:26:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Have you guys ever expierienced one time in your life when you don't get along with anyone and fell like everything in the world had deserted you? Has your life been filled with past horrors?

2007-02-20 21:25:39 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

I have no debts
I make no bets
My snorkelling is acclaimed
I keep no pigs
I dance no jigs
My father isn’t trained
Who am I?

2007-02-20 21:25:19 · 10 answers · asked by Boofie 6 in Polls & Surveys

An elderly man had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed it up nice, had some picnic tables, horseshoe pits and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond as he hadn't been there for a while and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared
the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned,then said "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

2007-02-20 21:24:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-20 21:24:01 · 5 answers · asked by bahar d 1 in Music

I think many are funny but alot are really out of line. What do u think?

2007-02-20 21:22:00 · 13 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Polls & Surveys

Who do you thinks going to win John Brown with his Ghetto Revival or Shamrock?? I personally like Shamrock and am very disappointed that Persia is gone

2007-02-20 21:20:55 · 4 answers · asked by ck 5 in Music

he's sagittarius and i'm capricorn! Is dis an amazing match or doomed to failure ppl!!!

2007-02-20 21:20:24 · 10 answers · asked by Dolly 5 in Horoscopes

i jst saw a pic in google which avril had a sex video.

2007-02-20 21:20:15 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

Or just ''lots of hippos'' ?

2007-02-20 21:19:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-20 21:17:25 · 16 answers · asked by ck 5 in Polls & Surveys

Little Johnny and his dad went shopping at the grocery store. Walking down an aisle, Johnny asked his dad if he could have a box of Lucky Charms.

His dad said," Well, Johnny, can you touch your axxhole with your dxck?"

Johnny said, "No!!"

Johnny's dad said, "Well, there's your answer."

Later, Johnny asked if he could have Spagettios.

His dad, again, said, "Can you touch your axxhole with your dixk?"

Johnny said,"No!!"

His dad said, "Well, there's your answer."

At the end of the shopping trip, Johnny's dad felt bad about how he had talked to Johnny, so he bought him an instant lottery ticket.

Johnny scratched the ticket and found that he won $1,000!!!

His dad said,"Hey, Johnny, you gonna share the money with your old man?"

Johnny asked,"Dad, can you touch your axxhole with your dxck?"

Johnny's dad said,"As a matter of fact, I can!"

Johnny said,"GOOD, GO FxCK YOURSELF!!"

2007-02-20 21:17:11 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-20 21:16:53 · 18 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Polls & Surveys

mine is avril because britney had no hair and she's annoying!

2007-02-20 21:16:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

that you wish to get back and in the same time... you don't, because it is a part of being... yourself?

And thank you all for helping me cauterize a bit of my bitterness today, I love this place and I luv ya all! I have some work to do, but see you around :)

2007-02-20 21:14:10 · 11 answers · asked by ♫Pavic♫ 7 in Polls & Surveys

A man went into a store and began looking around. He saw a washer and dryer, but there was no price listed on them. He asked the sales person "How much are the washer and dryer?"

"Five dollars for both of them," the salesman said.
"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me!" the man replied sarcastically.
"No, that's the price," the salesman said, "Do you want to buy them or not?"
"Yeah, I'll take them!" the customer responded.

He continued to look around and saw a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, speakers, and subwoofers. "How much?" he asked.

"Five dollars for the system," the salesman answered.
"Is it stolen?" the guy asks.
"No," said the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not?"
"Sure," the customer replied. He looked around some more.

Next he found a top of the line computer with printer and monitor. "How much?"
"Five dollars," was the familiar response.
"I'll take that too!" the man said.

2007-02-20 21:12:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-20 21:11:25 · 2 answers · asked by Russell 3 in Polls & Surveys

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. She looked out the window and yelled to her lover. Quick jump out the window. My husband's home early!!

"I can't jump out the window!" came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets "It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun, the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon.

So he started running alongside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while, a small group of runners, which had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free."

Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

"Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Nope.........just when it's raining."

2007-02-20 21:10:45 · 7 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,
"See! That was more than 5 times a month!"

The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.
What do YOU say to that?!"

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells,
"That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day!
But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!"

2007-02-20 21:10:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-20 21:09:41 · 17 answers · asked by Darktania 5 in Polls & Surveys

if that happnd im marrying sid... and i will build my house next to donald's house

heheh :)

2007-02-20 21:09:39 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

irish electrictian

2007-02-20 21:09:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-20 21:07:48 · 23 answers · asked by kennyboy 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-20 21:07:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2:05 A.M. here.
U.S. West Coast

2007-02-20 21:06:42 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-20 21:06:32 · 6 answers · asked by annaqtjoey 3 in Comics & Animation

I say Sundance & Sanjaya

2007-02-20 21:05:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

My nose is running like a shoplifter from security! How long does it take to get over this junk?

2007-02-20 21:05:29 · 12 answers · asked by Lt. Dan reborn 5 in Polls & Surveys