Entertainment & Music - 5 February 2007

A man who smelled like a brewery flopped on the train seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

2007-02-05 02:30:08 · 7 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

for best rock duo who will win

''Talk,'' Coldplay
''How to Save a Life,'' the Fray
''Steady, as She Goes,'' the Raconteurs
''Dani California,'' Red Hot Chili Peppers
''The Saints Are Coming,'' U2 & Green Day

2007-02-05 02:30:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-05 02:29:55 · 4 answers · asked by krittersbykelly 1 in Music

It is quite cold in West Tennessee this morning..

2007-02-05 02:29:15 · 16 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Polls & Surveys

Seriously, on the radio you hear the DJs whining about it being Monday.

2007-02-05 02:28:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

And you were only permitted to cook ONE 'type' of food, what would you choose ? Taking into consideration all cultures and the vegetarians etc.

2007-02-05 02:28:26 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

ok with the movie 23 coming out what is your number
like mine is 13 because: i will be turning 13 in 13 days and i was born in 1994 9x9=81 turned backwards is 18-1=17 17-4=13

2007-02-05 02:28:19 · 3 answers · asked by im lost come and find me 4 in Jokes & Riddles

A man goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, doctor, I have a lettuce leaf hanging out of my bxm".

The doctor has a look and says "Don't worry. It's only the tip of the iceberg."

Brunette after sxx: "Oh that was great! Love you...wanna marry?"
Blonde after sxx: "Next!"

Redhead after sxx: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid.

Two men were talking. One said: I'd love to be casseroled by a redhead.

"What's that mean?" his puzzled friend said, "Casseroled is a cooking term, meaning to be done slowly for a long time."

The first man shrugged. "Exactly." he replied.

Whenever John wanted to have sxx he would say to Mary "Lets do some laundry, honey".

Well one day Mary felt hxrny so she said to John "Honey, how about doing some laundry?"

John replied "No thanks honey, I only had a small load so I did it by hand.

2007-02-05 02:28:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-05 02:27:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i want the song lyrics for ciara's new song PROMISE please help me find it i have been searching for days!!!!

2007-02-05 02:27:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

just wondering.

2007-02-05 02:27:35 · 5 answers · asked by dong weylong 2 in Celebrities

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"

The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.

"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"

The man quickly replies, "I have £1.50."

2007-02-05 02:26:41 · 11 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-05 02:26:40 · 52 answers · asked by Buck Flair 4 in Polls & Surveys

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted
from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first,
"but I could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way -
'Take a clean dish and....'"

2007-02-05 02:26:28 · 8 answers · asked by Eye of the Beholder 4 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-05 02:26:05 · 2 answers · asked by elissa a 1 in Television

Did anyone see the previews after Fridays episode....where Phyllis is shocked to here that Michael and Paul were keeping Sheila locked up. Do you think there is any chance she will decide to help her? I think she will let Sheila keep pretending to be her, and she'll pretend to be Sheila if Sheila gets Summer back home and promises not to hurt her or Nick.

2007-02-05 02:25:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

ok first off, this is not even my account, this is a friend of mine who let my borrow it since Yahoo decided to deactivate my account without informing me and without reason!!!!

I have been asking this question for the third time now, hopefully Yahoo lets this one appear if not i am going to throw this pc against the wall.

My question is: Is there a better place than yahoo????
Yahoo always screwing up everything, they need to get their act together so i want to know where else can a i set up an account is there a better site where i can set up an email address for free????

2007-02-05 02:25:32 · 9 answers · asked by Jillian 1 in Polls & Surveys

how bout profile???? do i still look fat???

2007-02-05 02:24:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?"
He replies, "No."
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!!
I don't want to get that again...!"

2007-02-05 02:24:47 · 6 answers · asked by Eye of the Beholder 4 in Jokes & Riddles

SO FAR I RECOMMEND ROCKY 6 AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS AND BLOOD DIAMOND

2007-02-05 02:24:30 · 16 answers · asked by me! 4 in Movies

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.

The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for £10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

2007-02-05 02:24:26 · 6 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-05 02:24:18 · 5 answers · asked by robfowler5 2 in Television

in school i have to make a romeo and juliet portfolio. and 15 of the points come from this song.

here are the EXCACT instructions ~ "choose one modern song, and get the text of its lyrics. Include the lyrics and then tell why you pick that song and how it relates to the themes/story of romeo and juliet.

so yeah... im thinking it has to show that they are in love, but cant be together.... and they can tlive without eachothers love.... (you know that kinda thing)

PLEASE help me!!!!

2007-02-05 02:24:03 · 5 answers · asked by one_lastwish 1 in Music

I know that it's called "The Last Stand" but it left with an open ending....again, with Magneto and the chess peice, so what do you think. I wish they would make another movie.

2007-02-05 02:23:03 · 7 answers · asked by TBA 2 in Movies

songs
or
singers?

2007-02-05 02:21:50 · 22 answers · asked by sweet18apparatus 4 in Polls & Surveys

from Yahoo earlier today

" Jade Goody has reportedly been kicked out of rehab - because she is too angry for anger management classes.

She is said to have left The Priory clinic after just five days following a series of bust-ups with staff."

You'd think she'd learn from all that has happened to her that maybe it would be a good idea to try and control her temper - or is she simply just too thick to even do that?

2007-02-05 02:21:45 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

who would be the winner - BANE(from batman series) Vs HULK Vs THE THING(from fantastic 4 series) Vs JUGGERNAUT(from x-men series) Vs BEAST(from x men series) Vs SUPERMAN vS BUGS BUNNY(loony seris - just kidding about bugs bunny).

if all were to fight against each other who would finaaly win. . please forget that they might be on same side or they won't fight against each other.

who would finally be the winner of this fight.

LOL - ISN'T THIS A GOOD QUESTION?????????

2007-02-05 02:21:29 · 6 answers · asked by Solving Holmes c 1 in Comics & Animation

About coming of age, like 'sleepover or 'mean girls' but something else. Preferably certificate 12A as it is for my sister and our Dad is particular about that. Soemthing nice.

2007-02-05 02:20:32 · 20 answers · asked by Dreamer 4 in Movies

I am an aussie and I just want you to put the first thing that comes to mind. Maybe it is something you know about .

Thank you so much

2007-02-05 02:20:22 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

butt and then she proceeded to hand me some papers that needed to be filed....what in the world should I ever do? What if some of her butt juice gets on me from the papers?

2007-02-05 02:20:11 · 22 answers · asked by Sue Sue2 3 in Polls & Surveys