Entertainment & Music - 4 December 2006

One other thing I miss is the ability to search.

Please bring back the old listings!!!

2006-12-04 11:29:38 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

just found out what emo is and thats very stereotypical. i like loud skreetching music, and get depressed sometimes but im not suicidal although i like suicidal tendencies too.

2006-12-04 11:29:22 · 8 answers · asked by Robert m 1 in Music

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

“Who the hell are you?” Demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”

The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom, and I’m St Peter”.

Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family….you’ve got to send me back Straight away”. St Peter replied “Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.

We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”. You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”.

“Never” replies Brian “Well just relax and let it happen”

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense! feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him…ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting…

“Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you’ve **** in the bed”

2006-12-04 11:29:17 · 21 answers · asked by Rock 2 in Jokes & Riddles

THERE WAS A BRUNETT JUMPING IN AND OUT OF THE TRAIN TRACKS YELLING 13, 13, 13!!! A LITTLE WHILE LATER, A DUMB BLONDE CAME ALONG AND STARTED DOING THE SAME THING. THEY WERE BOTH YELLING 13,13,13 UNTIL A TRAIN IS HEARD OFF IN THE DISTANCE. THE BRUNETTE HEARS IT AND GETS OFF THE TRACKS. BUT THE DUMB BLONDE DOESN'T AND GETS HIT BY THE TRAIN. WHEN THE TRAIN PASSES, THYE BRUNETTE GETS BACK ON THE TRACKS JUMPING IN AND OUT OF THEM REPETEDLY YELLING 14,14,14!!!!!!!

2006-12-04 11:28:50 · 19 answers · asked by Christian Z 1 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-04 11:28:41 · 7 answers · asked by nyyankeesknicks 2 in Music

wats 3+-12+-8=

2006-12-04 11:28:00 · 4 answers · asked by keishajackson13 1 in Jokes & Riddles

I can't use Youtube anymore, so i need another place to watch tsubasa. All the other sites only have it up to episode 40. is there a website where i can watch beyond that? Thanks a lot!

2006-12-04 11:27:51 · 3 answers · asked by Sakura-chan 1 in Comics & Animation

How much do u think an Earnhardt Jr. cap (autographed by George Strait) is worth? (not that I want to sell it or get rid of it, im just curious)

I work at a dealership & his truck broke down while driving by, so I wanted his autograph & that cap was the only one I could find, thats why he autographed that, he was even kind enough to talk to my sister on my cell phone cuz she didnt believe me that he was standing in front of me.

2006-12-04 11:27:50 · 3 answers · asked by Lil'MissSnshne 4 in Music

2006-12-04 11:27:30 · 6 answers · asked by E_Soup 5 in Polls & Surveys

THeres a movie that came out to theaters awhile back, it starts with a "A" & has mostly a black cast. Please help me.

2006-12-04 11:27:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

hair??

2006-12-04 11:26:46 · 40 answers · asked by -- 4 in Polls & Surveys

I got some new glossy red lipstick and wanted some opinions, thanks.

2006-12-04 11:26:41 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Well? Am I?

2006-12-04 11:26:19 · 7 answers · asked by E_Soup 5 in Polls & Surveys

If you know what the girl that plays Ugly Betty really looks like, then you know she is pretty. So if she ever got a makeover, do you think it could happen?

2006-12-04 11:25:44 · 13 answers · asked by babyphat 2 in Television

Lizard Birthing

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into His bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired.(I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."

He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. and then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs

2006-12-04 11:25:36 · 17 answers · asked by ♥ gina ♥ 4 in Jokes & Riddles

personaly i love them both but bret of poison should not have been kicked out of poison it should have been bobby

2006-12-04 11:25:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-04 11:25:18 · 21 answers · asked by Diesel Weasel 7 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-04 11:24:37 · 28 answers · asked by Kay 5 in Polls & Surveys

I KNOW I am!! are you? :D

2006-12-04 11:23:30 · 17 answers · asked by Pirate 4 Life 3 in Movies

2006-12-04 11:23:11 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I need The keeper of the stars by Tracy Byrd and She's my kind of rain by Tim McGraw, if anyone knows where I can download these for free that would be outstanding!! Thanks.

2006-12-04 11:23:06 · 3 answers · asked by being_carried_away 1 in Music

2006-12-04 11:23:02 · 15 answers · asked by Mark C 3 in Celebrities

2006-12-04 11:22:57 · 21 answers · asked by PANDABEAR 5 in Polls & Surveys

It all starts as the great battle between good and evil the falling angles as lucifer and others embark on overthrowing our lord bye taking over the heavens then the saints as micheal, gabriele,and christopher fight the great battle and defeat the dark side and send lucifer and the forbidden angels to hell now with hurricanes, man made weapons that literally destroy the very existance we had lucifer rises on earth with the damned angles earth becomes full of sin and the angles etc saint micheal can c what will happend to the people who sin on earth aka armagadon which gives lucifer and his minions his power just enough to take over heaven so the saints take charge and commit tresion by leaving the heavens to come to earth to stop lucifer and his followers to the final battle what side would u choose im sorry i would be more descriptive but my characters our limited lol

2006-12-04 11:22:24 · 3 answers · asked by mike f 1 in Movies

He looked mad weird and couldnt even answer easy questions correctly,on TRL and BET appearance with 50cent.

Eminem becoming a crackhead?

2006-12-04 11:22:23 · 10 answers · asked by NYC-BIGCAT 5 in Celebrities

Title Card: This picture tells part of their heroic story. It starts at Camp Shelby, Mississippi, in 1943...

2006-12-04 11:22:20 · 4 answers · asked by David 6 in Movies

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

2006-12-04 11:22:08 · 27 answers · asked by Rock 2 in Jokes & Riddles

see yourself in the future?

2006-12-04 11:22:08 · 39 answers · asked by lol 6 in Polls & Surveys

Mine is a giraffe. If I had a giraffe, I would name him Geoffrey the giraffe, like the toys r us giraffe. Very clever. I would also like a marmosett. Would you like to trade places with your favorite animal?

2006-12-04 11:21:53 · 31 answers · asked by wonderlandprincess83 3 in Polls & Surveys

:)

2006-12-04 11:21:32 · 4 answers · asked by kyle l 1 in Music