Entertainment & Music - 1 December 2006

why?

2006-12-01 08:19:28 · 29 answers · asked by ==== 3 in Polls & Surveys

In a public bathroom stall, start grunting and moaning and screaming like if your gonna poop really badly. Then get a cantalope and drop it in the toilet from about six feet above the toilet. Then sigh relaxingly.

2006-12-01 08:19:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:18:47 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:18:31 · 5 answers · asked by samson 1 in Comics & Animation

Teacher draws a penis on a blackboard.
Asks,"anyone know what this is?".
Johnny pipes up,"my dad's got two of them","one small for peeing,& one big for cleening my babysitters teeth"!!!

2006-12-01 08:18:04 · 11 answers · asked by ? 4 in Jokes & Riddles

Is the movie "drinving lessons" with Rupert Grint out in America? I know it's out in the UK but, is it out in America? It looks soo good and I want to watch it, but I don't live in the UK.

2006-12-01 08:17:40 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2006-12-01 08:17:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:16:52 · 9 answers · asked by a13 1 in Celebrities

if your your dog or cat could talk what will they complain most about
my dog would complain about the wheather
my cat would ask why do you make me come inside

2006-12-01 08:16:21 · 12 answers · asked by hollybell 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:16:04 · 16 answers · asked by countrygirl.!!lol 2 in Celebrities

2006-12-01 08:16:02 · 5 answers · asked by Tyler Durden 1 in Movies

Which celebrity do you like? And why? I love Johnny Depp and Keanu Reeves they are both so hot!

2006-12-01 08:15:57 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

I just bought Footloose from the Movie Footloose!!! It rocks some other ones i have are: Back in Black By ACDC,Snap Ya FangersBy Lil Jon,Iris By Goo Goo Dolls

2006-12-01 08:15:55 · 14 answers · asked by MusicFanatic101 2 in Polls & Surveys

I'm doing a play and I gotta make myself cry

2006-12-01 08:15:44 · 5 answers · asked by doris j 3 in Other - Entertainment

Or have you already eaten?...
Just a poll to toss some points around is all...

Me,well as it's just,1:16pm here at my hotel suite in Los Angeles,Cali...
And a nice something,for dinner is aready on my mind...

C'mon and spill...

Thank You for Your answers...

2006-12-01 08:15:23 · 21 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

When a public bathroom stall, take out some toilet paper and a squeeze tube of peanut butter. Then squeeze the peanut butter on the toilet paper, and the person in the bathroom stall next to yours, throw the peanut buttered toilet paper into the other person's bathroom stall, and say "Whoops, sorry."

2006-12-01 08:15:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Im not sure...it kind of sounds like a break up song, but im probably totally all wrong

2006-12-01 08:14:43 · 6 answers · asked by Abby 1 in Music

Britney Spears snatch and Lindsay oh so hot Lohan I Think that you would be better off doing some actual research on there is no way that you can be sure you can be sure you can be sure you can be sure you got a good platform for questions regarding Britney Spears snatch and Lindsay oh so hot Lohan I Think that you got a good answer is stupid. I mean the internet you got a good answer, you moron. That said it would be better off doing some actual research on there is no way that you would be a good

2006-12-01 08:14:35 · 9 answers · asked by herpescolapizza 1 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:14:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

♥

2006-12-01 08:14:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:14:02 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2006-12-01 08:13:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If z=1 and y=3.9, solve for x.
z^y/x=m

Assume that m is equal to z^y/x.

2006-12-01 08:13:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

well, yesterday a couple 2 guys from the church next door came over and one of them said he knows how to do a magic trick so he got 2 cups and said that the first cup were the sinners and the people that didnt know gods words then he filled the cup with water and he took an arrow and a stabbed a hole into the middle of the cup and water splashed everywhere. then he took the second cup and he filled it up with water and he said that that cup was the people that knew gods word and they followed it and he drew a cross in the middle then he filled it up with water [and we saw the water go in] and he put the arrow threw it and no water splashed anywhere and he flipped the cup over and no water came out and there wasnt any water. now since yesterday everyone in my familys wondering where the water went.. any ideas?

2006-12-01 08:13:19 · 8 answers · asked by number 46 1 in Jokes & Riddles

If so, who?

2006-12-01 08:13:16 · 7 answers · asked by doris j 3 in Celebrities

2006-12-01 08:13:14 · 19 answers · asked by Let there be JIMBO 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-01 08:12:53 · 13 answers · asked by babita a 1 in Celebrities

Lizard Birthing

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into His bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired.(I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."

He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. and then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!

2006-12-01 08:12:47 · 14 answers · asked by ♥ gina ♥ 4 in Jokes & Riddles

Is it Huh is it wah wah wah hair is gross please i need some way to shave it i need advice

Ghandi's @ss was hairy wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-12-01 08:12:16 · 12 answers · asked by dick testicles 1 in Jokes & Riddles

I usually have a erection all day long. I wake up, I go to work and I come home and still I have a hard on. Its crazy I cant get it to go away. I cant leave my seat at work, at lunch I have to arrange my pants so i dont look like a weirdo. Is this normal, does anybody have erection this long and all the time??

2006-12-01 08:12:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys