1. SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your
doctor's statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to
go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this
practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of
whatever you have; therefore, you should not consider having anything
removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed is certainly
less than we bargained for.
3. DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can arrange for
funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off
half an hour early, provided all of your work is up to date.
4. DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at
least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your
job.
5. PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the
washrooms. In the future, you will follow the practice of going in
alphabetical order. For instance, those surnames beginning with "A" will be
allowed to go from 9:00-9:05, "B" from 9:05-9:10, and so on. If you are
unable to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the
next day when your time comes around again.
6. QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
7. QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
8. ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and
nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
9. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
10. WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.
2006-11-07
12:33:38
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8 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles