Entertainment & Music - 22 September 2006

and told you that you were the most beautiful/handsome person they had ever seen in their whole life?

2006-09-22 08:19:35 · 20 answers · asked by munesliver 6 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:19:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

But everybody looks funny naked!
You woke me up for that?
Did I mention the video camera?
Do you smell something burning?
(In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
Try breathing through your nose.
A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
But whipped cream makes me break out.
Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today.
Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
Can you please pass me the remote control?
Do you accept Visa?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
(Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
(Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
Do you get any premium movie channels?
Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
(Preparin

2006-09-22 08:19:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

take this stranger from my boat.

name song and artist

2006-09-22 08:19:08 · 2 answers · asked by Ha Ha Charade You Are................... 4 in Music

2006-09-22 08:18:57 · 4 answers · asked by Wind Chime 4 in Music

2006-09-22 08:18:38 · 4 answers · asked by chris 1 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:18:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:18:08 · 6 answers · asked by Amy D 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Christian rock/rap band

2006-09-22 08:17:57 · 2 answers · asked by beardedredhead7 4 in Music

Keep it clean, people, lol.

2006-09-22 08:17:49 · 4 answers · asked by munesliver 6 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:17:43 · 2 answers · asked by ? 2 in Polls & Surveys

There are no books in English, and if I drive 4 hrs I have to pay $13.00 for a paperback. Want mainly top 20 in paperback, some cooking, and alternative. Children books.Thanks.

2006-09-22 08:17:33 · 2 answers · asked by tooterooter 1 in Other - Entertainment

?

2006-09-22 08:17:06 · 22 answers · asked by Jollie 1 in Music

2006-09-22 08:16:57 · 26 answers · asked by Joni J 6 in Polls & Surveys

How about Robert Reed?

2006-09-22 08:16:50 · 3 answers · asked by Naddo 3 in Jokes & Riddles

why didn't anyone tell me?

2006-09-22 08:16:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:16:36 · 30 answers · asked by Joni J 6 in Polls & Surveys

This is hysterical! For all you would-be animal experts, which I'm not!


LIZARD BIRTHING:

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet
syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story
below will have you laughing out LOUD! Overview: I had to take
my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was
"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, dad,
can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into
his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back,
looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my! Gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to
reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she
inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my
most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she
Informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on.
I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to
be a wondrous experience, I announced.

"We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of
tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think
she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a
tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech,"
my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it
next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several
more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they
could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the
females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe,
Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can
be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one
thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little
animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I
speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In
fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see,
Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity,
like most male species, they um....um. ...masturbate. Just the way he
did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you
know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just... Excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And
giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the
woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless
manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm
picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for
more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled
the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was
going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Lizards - $140...
1 - Cage - $50...
Trip to the Vet - $30...

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie... Priceless!

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!

2006-09-22 08:16:21 · 4 answers · asked by hlpz76 4 in Polls & Surveys

Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk, another's a smoker and the third's a gay guy. The doctor tells each of them that, if they induldge in their bad habit one more time, they will die.
Outside they pass a bar. The drunk says, “I don't care if I die, I need a drink.” The drunk goes into the bar takes a drink and, sure enough, he drops dead.

Meanwhile the smoker and the gay guy are walking along. Then the smoker spots a lit cigarette on the sidewalk. The gay guy looks over and says, “If you bend down to pick that up, we're both dead.”

2006-09-22 08:16:14 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

.....make a picture appear on the right hand side (like a picture of the album)

But some of the songs dont, how come? And how can i add a picture?!

This has been bugging me a long time.

2006-09-22 08:16:12 · 2 answers · asked by Miss Terious 3 in Music

Life is hard enough, why do people feel the need to watch other people do stupid things like eat bugs. Gross!

2006-09-22 08:16:11 · 14 answers · asked by mystri 3 in Television

I'm a unemployed high school student and I might want to be a Music Producer or a Real Estate Agent

2006-09-22 08:16:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:15:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:15:15 · 15 answers · asked by _chooly_ 2 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:14:55 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

was it :
- Dire strait
- Queen
- Michael Jackson

2006-09-22 08:14:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2006-09-22 08:14:35 · 18 answers · asked by Wilma C 1 in Other - Entertainment

If your best friend, whom you loved did something horrific (insert worst thing you could imagine them doing here), if it wasn't to you or someone you loved? Would you avoid them, or try to understand and accept them?

2006-09-22 08:14:17 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

There will be blood!

2006-09-22 08:13:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-22 08:13:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys