Entertainment & Music - 25 August 2006

I'll be happy when...

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting ..
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.

2006-08-25 20:36:17 · 10 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

1 ⤊

When will Laura be back on General Hospital, I need to tape the episodes?

2006-08-25 20:35:38 · 7 answers · asked by rcnabors0917 1 in Television

3 ⤊

What is your freak show?

2006-08-25 20:35:35 · 4 answers · asked by jdhayman 5 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

What makes you like smile like drug for you?

2006-08-25 20:34:54 · 10 answers · asked by jdhayman 5 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Does Any 1 Remember Conway Twitty ???

The new Texas preacher was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty, the country
music singer.

One day he decided to visit some of the church members who hadn't been to
service
lately.
He went to the first lady's house and knocked on the door. When she
answered the door, she said, "Conway Twitty!"

"No ma'am," he replied. "I'm your new pastor, and I came to have prayer with
you."
So she said come right on in.

He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Conway Twitty.

Then he came to a young widow woman's house on the end of the street. She
was taking a shower at the time, so she just wrapped a towel around herself
and opened the door. When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands -
which allowed the towel to fall to the floor. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed.
"It's Conway Twitty!"

And the preacher said ....... "Hello, Darlin!!"

2006-08-25 20:33:16 · 7 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

1 ⤊

Does Any 1 Remember Conway Twitty ???

The new Texas preacher was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty, the country
music singer.

One day he decided to visit some of the church members who hadn't been to
service
lately.
He went to the first lady's house and knocked on the door. When she
answered the door, she said, "Conway Twitty!"

"No ma'am," he replied. "I'm your new pastor, and I came to have prayer with
you."
So she said come right on in.

He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Conway Twitty.

Then he came to a young widow woman's house on the end of the street. She
was taking a shower at the time, so she just wrapped a towel around herself
and opened the door. When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands -
which allowed the towel to fall to the floor. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed.
"It's Conway Twitty!"

And the preacher said ....... "Hello, Darlin!!"

2006-08-25 20:33:06 · 3 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

Anyone know when the final season of "Oz" is coming out on dvd?

2006-08-25 20:32:44 · 1 answers · asked by mbomar78 3 in Television

1 ⤊

Guy"s Rules...prob been on 100 times but here goes >>>>?

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

2006-08-25 20:29:51 · 11 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

can you please look at this for me????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBjKDpa75mM&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBjKDpa75mM&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt_CWivs1Gk&mode=related&search=

2006-08-25 20:28:57 · 10 answers · asked by ♥D@t_bLaSiaN♥ 5 in Television

0 ⤊

Why does pretty want to show off?

2006-08-25 20:27:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

Who's funnier?

bernie mac or chris rock?

2006-08-25 20:26:53 · 28 answers · asked by shorty 2 in Celebrities

1 ⤊

Ordering Pizza 2008...way too long for the lazies !!!?

ORDERING PIZZA IN 2008
This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is...

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?

Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.

Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?

Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this inform ation?

Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

Custo mer: The HSS, what is that?

Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.

Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

Customer: Whaddya mean?

Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice .

Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then

Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.

Customer: I'll run o ver to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.

Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.

Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?

Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.

Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer: (speechless)

Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.

2006-08-25 20:26:52 · 12 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

Why is Tarkan so popular ?

2006-08-25 20:26:50 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Magazines

0 ⤊

What do you have that is large ?

2006-08-25 20:26:49 · 13 answers · asked by jdhayman 5 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

Hey guys... what do you think?

I wast just watching Chris Rock's never scared and i laughed my *** out at this:

"Don´t argue with a woman, never, you can not win!!!! You can not beat a woman in an argument, cause men, we are handicap when it comes to arguing, cause we have the need to make sense, women are not gonna let a little thing called "sense" to f....k up their argument, cause they are not in it for sense they are in it for irritation"

Do you agree?

2006-08-25 20:26:48 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

0 ⤊

What is at the end of the world....can you guess.....?

2006-08-25 20:25:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

why does everyone hate hawthorn heights?

and give me real reasions not their music sucks or they dress bad. tell me why they bother you. their lyrics are just an expression they dont really want you to cut your rists. do some resarch!so that eliminates that answer. and they are not posers if you think they are whats your proof what makes them posers? in my book they are awsome and i hope they keep makeing awsome music.

2006-08-25 20:25:10 · 5 answers · asked by nikki fm 2 in Music

0 ⤊

Is Arielle Kebbel pretty?

from "John Tucker Must Die"

2006-08-25 20:24:50 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

0 ⤊

OK Guys This Is For U !!!?

Allright guys, enjoy this!!
>
> >>Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
>
> >>
>
> >>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>
> >>None. It should be opened when she brings it.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>
> >>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
>
> >>probably never
>
> >>be able to support you.
>
>
> >>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>
> >>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
>
> >>them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>
> >>When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me."
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>
> >>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>Why do men fart more than women?
>
> >>Because women can't shut up long enough to
>
> >>build up the required pressure.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
>yelling at
>
> >>the
>
> >>front door, who do you let in first?
>
> >>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>
> >>A woman who won't do what she's told.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>I married a Miss Right.
>
> >>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
>
> >>a woman's sex drive by 90%.
>
> >>It's called a Wedding Cake.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>Why do men die before their wives?
>
> >>They want to.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>Women will never be equal to men until they can
>
> >>walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
>
> >>gut, and still think they are sexy.
>
>
> >>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>
> >>Then God created Man and rested.
>
> >>Then God created Woman.
>
> >>Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>
>

2006-08-25 20:24:30 · 16 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles