Willys cynical thought for the day,
I sent my photo to the Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back to me saying "WE'RE NOT THAT FREAKING LONELY!!!!!"
A good drinking buddy will bail you out of jail, but a great drinking buddy will be sitting in the cell beside you, saying, "Man, that was awesome!"
The last words you remember each night are, "Hold my beer and watch this!"
You're disappointed when you go to a funeral and there's no keg.
You refer to your mouth as your "booze hole."
You've told Jehovah's Witnesses, "Of course, I want to go to Heaven. I'm sure it's awesome. God does pick up the tab every night, right?"
You once got so drunk you dreamed you got fired and broke up with your girlfriend - and it all came true!
You regularly ask bartenders, "So, how are the spill mats looking tonight? Anything good in there?"
Someone tells you they don't drink anymore, and you bravely respond, "Don't worry about it, buddy, I'll take up your slack!"
You prefer vodka that comes in the handy plastic squeeze-size bottles.
The bartender asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
Two weeks into the bender you found out "Drink Canada Dry" was a corporate slogan, not a challenge.
For the money you've spent on Thunderbird, you could have bought the car.
You know that vodka is tasteless going down, but memorable coming up.
You say when your drunk what you think when you're sober.
You know the best beer in the world is the one in your hand.
Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean- against bars, poles and tables.
You always drink Irish Coffee for breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-13
16:10:30
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15 answers
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Jokes & Riddles