You Know You're a Drunkard When (Part. 10 of ? Shortened) more If ya don't like subject DON'T OPEN

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day,

I sent my photo to the Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back to me saying "WE'RE NOT THAT FREAKING LONELY!!!!!"

A good drinking buddy will bail you out of jail, but a great drinking buddy will be sitting in the cell beside you, saying, "Man, that was awesome!"

The last words you remember each night are, "Hold my beer and watch this!"

You're disappointed when you go to a funeral and there's no keg.

You refer to your mouth as your "booze hole."

You've told Jehovah's Witnesses, "Of course, I want to go to Heaven. I'm sure it's awesome. God does pick up the tab every night, right?"

You once got so drunk you dreamed you got fired and broke up with your girlfriend - and it all came true!

You regularly ask bartenders, "So, how are the spill mats looking tonight? Anything good in there?"

Someone tells you they don't drink anymore, and you bravely respond, "Don't worry about it, buddy, I'll take up your slack!"

You prefer vodka that comes in the handy plastic squeeze-size bottles.

The bartender asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.

Two weeks into the bender you found out "Drink Canada Dry" was a corporate slogan, not a challenge.

For the money you've spent on Thunderbird, you could have bought the car.

You know that vodka is tasteless going down, but memorable coming up.

You say when your drunk what you think when you're sober.

You know the best beer in the world is the one in your hand.

Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean- against bars, poles and tables.

You always drink Irish Coffee for breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; WILLYS JOKES 2/2/06 You Know You're a Drunkard When Pt. 2;

Answer 1

*hehehehahahaha*snickers*falls to the floor*laughs some more*slaps knee*wipes tears from my eyes*falls to the ground again*kicks over the computer chair*gets up*laughs some more*tries to breath*but can't*

check hehe ya haha later hehehaha ♥

Answer 2

It is interesting that this joke acknowledges that Jehovah's Witnesses are most identified with preaching God's Word. It seems signficant that the relatively small religion of Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones best known for their worldwide preaching work. Yet Jesus commanded that ALL who would call themselves "Christian" perform this public work:

(Matthew 28:19,20) Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And, look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.

Learn more:
http://www.watchtower.org/library/jt/index.htm

Answer 3

Here's to you Willy you retard! You answered my question with a dumb remark so here is one for you. By the way your really ugly. I know you can't help it, but I figured you should know. Live short and be poor my friend!

Answer 4

You know you're a drunkard when you corn-holed a five dollar bill up your a$$ just so you wouldn't spend it but ended up dropping your pants in front of everyone in the bar just for another drink.

Answer 5

LMAO. Excellent stuff man.

Answer 6

Alcoholism is a serious problem :)

Answer 7

Love it.

Answer 8

i can relate to all of this, i think i have a problem

Answer 9

another string of useless crap to read...2pts

Answer 10

definitely will be using some of these,.....thanks