Dear Tech Support:
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child
processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run
and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Sunday
Football 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I
cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to
run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back
to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help!
Joe.
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding.
Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife
1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0
is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back
to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is
impossible to de-install, delete or purge the program files from the
system once installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but
have
ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under Alimony/Child
Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I
recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as
best you can.
When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused
them, you must run the C:\ IAPOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to
use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a number
of times, but hopefully eventually the operating system will return
to normal.
Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very
rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional
software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.
Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt
version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the
system will almost certainly crash.
Best of luck!
Tech Support
2006-06-22
07:46:56
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8 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles