Entertainment & Music - 10 December 2007

A guy stops to visit his friend, who is paralyzed from the waist down. His friend says, “My feet are cold. Would you get my sneakers for me?”

The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend’s two gorgeous daughters. He says, “Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to have sex with you.”

The first daughter says, “That’s not true.”

He says, “I’ll prove it.”

He yells down the stairs, “Both of them?”

His friend yells back, “Of course, both of them.”

2007-12-10 04:06:57 · 14 answers · asked by loopy 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-12-10 04:04:48 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

An old man on his deathbed implored his wife, “When I am gone I want you to marry Fred Uhland.”

“Why Fred Uhland?” his wife asked. “You have hated him all of your life!”

“Still do,” gasped the old man.

2007-12-10 04:04:26 · 18 answers · asked by loopy 2 in Jokes & Riddles

and its like 38 degrees outside! and they have on the a/c! anybody else have this problem?

2007-12-10 04:04:21 · 7 answers · asked by *Fairydust* 3 in Polls & Surveys

papi we dont have a Jack in the box where I live, I miss Jack in the box :(

2007-12-10 04:02:43 · 24 answers · asked by Wish 4 in Polls & Surveys

my friend and i have an objection. take the remote control for example. pushing the buttons involves moving you hand from the chip bag to get to the remote, we can't waste energy pushing buttons, we need it for taking chips,popcorn,or my personal favorite M&MS out of the bag/bowl and putting them in our mouth,then chewing. do u like pushing buttons??

2007-12-10 04:02:08 · 14 answers · asked by ♥Sing It For Japan♥ 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 04:02:04 · 19 answers · asked by karens lovinlife 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 04:01:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

WARNING WARNING WARNING. THE TROOLS ARE BACK!

They already got me three time today.

2007-12-10 03:59:47 · 4 answers · asked by tim b 5 in Polls & Surveys

In laymans terms please,its been a long day.

2007-12-10 03:59:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

seems like they do to me, then again I am a people watcher so I pay more attention than most

2007-12-10 03:58:44 · 31 answers · asked by Wish 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 03:57:39 · 18 answers · asked by The Sidewalkinator 6 in Polls & Surveys

And yes,i do know!

2007-12-10 03:57:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

What is "IT"??? =D

2007-12-10 03:57:01 · 15 answers · asked by F-1 says KISS IT! 7 in Polls & Surveys

said "hey there good looking"?

2007-12-10 03:56:38 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Like a iron or a noose hair trimmer, lol

2007-12-10 03:56:12 · 12 answers · asked by Red Phantom 5 in Polls & Surveys

There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.

So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, to the old man.

"Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except …" said the old man, and then he stopped.

"Except what?" asked the businessman.

"Nothing, nothing," said the old man.

"C'mon, tell me! I need something!" protested the businessman.

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick,'" the old man said.

"So what's up with this voodoo dick?" the businessman asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said, "Big ******* deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"

The old man said, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."

He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."

The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said, "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!"

The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.

The businessman said, "I'll take it!"

The old man resisted and said it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say, "Voodoo dick, my *****."

He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone.

After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my *****!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.

After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her *****, and wouldn't stop screwing.

The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ***!"

2007-12-10 03:56:04 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

...to be an uplifting experience?

Or am I the only one who is prepared to admit it?

2007-12-10 03:55:52 · 21 answers · asked by hello world 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 03:55:27 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Which one do you like the best, and why??

2007-12-10 03:55:23 · 11 answers · asked by kweenb2327 3 in Polls & Surveys

Dang! The fridge is hurtin' and we don't keep canned food. The booze and wine are okay, so I'm safe for now...

2007-12-10 03:55:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 03:55:19 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

What do you wear?

I wear my boxers with the Christmas lights design. :)

2007-12-10 03:54:12 · 3 answers · asked by Red Phantom 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 03:53:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 03:53:26 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I have both a sheepskin and a suede jacket I still love to wear.

2007-12-10 03:52:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-10 03:52:03 · 32 answers · asked by campuscrusader 2 in Movies

2007-12-10 03:51:52 · 14 answers · asked by Sabine 6 in Polls & Surveys

I need to consult some good numerologist, preferably Indian, who can guide me on Name changes, House Number and also suggest some ideas on gem stones to be worn....please send me any names, contact numbers, etc. and if possible, your experience with these people!

2007-12-10 03:51:43 · 3 answers · asked by cucumber_cool 2 in Horoscopes

Personally I like to ski during this time with my family. I live in Texas, but sometimes we take trips to Colorado or Utah to find a good skiing loft. What's your fancy?

2007-12-10 03:51:39 · 19 answers · asked by Mr Geek 2 in Polls & Surveys