Entertainment & Music - 12 February 2007

Telemarketers suck big time. Here are some proven ways to rid your life of these assclowns for good...


1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

2007-02-12 05:59:52 · 58 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Jokes & Riddles

There is a song I hear everytime I go to a dance club that plays electronic music that has whistling and then a male vocal in it. I love it cuz it pumps up the whole club and everyone is jumping along. Not Bob Sinclair's "World Hold On", but the male voice is very similar in tone.

2007-02-12 05:59:51 · 5 answers · asked by Naty 2 in Music

-regular
-peanut
-peanut butter
-dark chocolate
-almond
-minis

2007-02-12 05:59:47 · 34 answers · asked by Yanks4Life23519 7 in Polls & Surveys

What do you prefer, a holiday in a caravan or going abroad to somewhere nice and hot?

2007-02-12 05:59:36 · 7 answers · asked by pageys 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-12 05:59:25 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

Mine is...chicken fried steak with biscuits and gravy poured all over it. lol, it's not a very healthy meal...

2007-02-12 05:59:17 · 18 answers · asked by Led*Zep*Babe 5 in Polls & Surveys

Is global warming the West's secret scheme to sell fridges to Eskimos?

2007-02-12 05:59:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

One day, Billy Bob and Joe Jr. decided to go out to the woods and go hunting for some deer. They went far and deep into the woods but not far enough to where their cell phone didn't get enough signal in case there is an emergency.
After a while of looking and not finding anything, Billy said,
"Hey Joe, I have to go pee...I'm gonna go behind the bushes so keep an eye out for any deer." "Ok Billy," said Joe. As soon as Billy whipped out his penis, a snake came out from the bushes and bit him right on the head of his penis.
"OH MY GOD...Quick Joe, call the Doctor and tell him I got bit by a snake and ask what do we do." Joe was frantic because they were miles away from a hospital and so he called the doctor right away to save Billy's life. "Hello...Doc. my friend just got bit by a snake and we are in the middle of the woods. What do I do?"
The doctor told Joe that he would have to suck out the venom or his friend was going to die. Joe ran back to Billy and Billy asked,

2007-02-12 05:59:15 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-02-12 05:58:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

who would it be?

Personally, I'd go with Bradley Nowell from Sublime and I'd tell him to bring ol Lou Dog with him. He was so talented (atleast in my opinion) and I adore his voice and just the music of Sublime all together.

Go ahead, gimme your reasoning too. This could be fun

2007-02-12 05:58:37 · 19 answers · asked by Steph 2 in Music

coz ppol keep tellin me that... so wat do u thnk..

2007-02-12 05:58:34 · 27 answers · asked by cuteypie 1 in Polls & Surveys

Which sign do you not like the most?

2007-02-12 05:58:21 · 14 answers · asked by o.O 4 in Horoscopes

Mine is...

2007-02-12 05:58:19 · 11 answers · asked by Fluffy Rover 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-12 05:58:16 · 10 answers · asked by comet girl...DUCK! 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-12 05:58:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2007-02-12 05:58:01 · 10 answers · asked by spun_up_06 4 in Polls & Surveys

wrItE lIkE thIs All thE tImE Or dO yOU cOntrOl It?

2007-02-12 05:57:58 · 30 answers · asked by White 7 in Polls & Surveys

Pros vs Joes they hype up Roy Jones and he doesn't even throw any hard punches? Give me a break.

2007-02-12 05:57:54 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

What did you think about it

2007-02-12 05:57:51 · 5 answers · asked by nike8924 1 in Music

Can't let them know what you're up to, ya know? ;)

2007-02-12 05:57:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-12 05:57:47 · 8 answers · asked by co 3 in Celebrities

It looks so much like Talia Shire; Rocky's wife, from the ROCKY movies. Anyone know?

2007-02-12 05:57:40 · 4 answers · asked by hopem 2 in Polls & Surveys

Fish or for sea and birds are for trees, if an apple can make pie than an orange cannot die. True to the word is lie can a whale swim on land and survive?

2007-02-12 05:56:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I just want to kno y ppl go home and sit in front of a t.v all day and just warp their minds with garbage.Im not saying go read a book or nothin im just sayn dont sit and watch t.v all the time.Limit ur t.v,go do other things,be more active.Does anyone agree w-me that t.v is ok every now and then but not all the time?

2007-02-12 05:56:41 · 11 answers · asked by Daniel Hillhouse`s Girl! 2 in Television

a friend with benefits?

2007-02-12 05:56:40 · 11 answers · asked by Derek Wildstar 4 in Polls & Surveys

jennifer aniston
flavor flav
whoopi goldberg
shabba ranks
50 cent
jay-z
chamillionaire
rosie o'donnel
oprah (without make-up)
lil wayne
angelina jolie
and so many more....but these are the only ones i can really think of right now.

2007-02-12 05:56:18 · 21 answers · asked by Yvette S 1 in Celebrities

What happened to fireeater? (cant do the little symbols in his name)

2007-02-12 05:56:01 · 11 answers · asked by Charisma 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-02-12 05:55:59 · 13 answers · asked by Mike S 2 in Polls & Surveys

heavy metal, lead singer had long straight hair and was very pale.

I think they were big in the early 1990s.

2007-02-12 05:55:55 · 8 answers · asked by Jack Chedeville 6 in Music

.

2007-02-12 05:55:49 · 4 answers · asked by alex77055 3 in Celebrities