My boyfriends, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make Love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you've succeeded.
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?'
She said 'Turn si
2006-08-02
02:53:29
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7 answers
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Anonymous
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Jokes & Riddles