She's been practicing day and night. She's gotten really good at making up scriptures and speaking in tongues.
Sometimes she makes me pretend to be ailing from some sort of disease (cancer, blood clots, cold sores) and she'll miraculously heal me by shoving my forehead backwards and yelling "DEMONS BEGONE!". She has a pulpit set up in her bedroom and all of her stuffed animals are sitting around it as her congregation.
She's been collecting sandbox sand in little plastic bags, and plans on selling it for the low low price of $49.99. It's labeled as "Jesus Sand: Walked on by Our Saviors sandals". I think this could be a lucrative and promising career for my little one.
My question is, do you have to certified in BS before you can become a Televangelist, or are the bad ones weeded out by Natural Selection? I would hate for my daughter to get her hopes up only to find out she can't hold water to such greats as Jerry Falwell and Jim Bakker. Should she claim to be born-again?
2007-11-28
01:05:06
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30 answers
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asked by
Anonymous