She's been practicing day and night. She's gotten really good at making up scriptures and speaking in tongues.
Sometimes she makes me pretend to be ailing from some sort of disease (cancer, blood clots, cold sores) and she'll miraculously heal me by shoving my forehead backwards and yelling "DEMONS BEGONE!". She has a pulpit set up in her bedroom and all of her stuffed animals are sitting around it as her congregation.
She's been collecting sandbox sand in little plastic bags, and plans on selling it for the low low price of $49.99. It's labeled as "Jesus Sand: Walked on by Our Saviors sandals". I think this could be a lucrative and promising career for my little one.
My question is, do you have to certified in BS before you can become a Televangelist, or are the bad ones weeded out by Natural Selection? I would hate for my daughter to get her hopes up only to find out she can't hold water to such greats as Jerry Falwell and Jim Bakker. Should she claim to be born-again?
2007-11-28 01:05:06 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Wow, your 2 year old can do all that? That's cool, she sounds smarter than I do, lol. I'm concerned she might become a religious nut so you should let him do her own thing. See, I was so blown away by it all I just confused genders, ROTFLMAO. Are you a troll? WTF?
2007-11-28 01:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Christianity: i does not % Christianity. it fairly is the faith I grew up with and from very own journey i'm able to declare that it fairly is a waste of time. it is in simple terms a hodge-podge of thou-shalt-nots written by using people who had severe social interplay deficiencies. Buddhism: i locate Buddhism eye-catching through fact it is greater of a philosophy of existence than a faith. It does not fairly have a needed God. Paganism: i assume you're speaking approximately something like Wicca or something comparable. through fact neo-paganism is comparatively new to western minds as some an prolonged time interior the mainstream as adversarial to hundreds of years of the different 2 you have got some problems whilst desiring to be taken heavily. yet, it fairly is the main exciting of the three. (No, you do no longer would desire to bop bare decrease than the moon however the alternative is there in case you prefer to)
2016-09-30 06:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by vignola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's great!
So...
When we go out together...
We won't need to get a baby-sitter...I think she's ready to be a "latch-key kid" already, don't you?!?
And I say we work on getting her some steady employment, too...
I'm thinking "construction...or...taxi driver..."
Let's put her out there amongst the poor, needy, and nervous gun owners, and let her ply her "evangelist" skills before we put her in front of the PBS Pulpit..."baby Jesus steps" are what is needed here, Mom...
Next month...camera training, and then...
I'm talkin' World Tour...
Now...snatch this Bible and gun from my hand...
And let the Candyland Crusade begin...
2007-11-28 01:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should have a BS in religion and they will take care of all the details. You start thinking about Palm Beach versus Beverly Hills. It's a big decision!! (Palm Beach is better)
2007-11-28 01:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let her practice just a little more and then set a tent up in your local park and let her try. If that works, take her on the road. You may have yourself a little money maker there.
2007-11-28 01:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
God you must be so proud....just teach her that if she is gonna screw people out of their hard earned money to go after the old ones....they are so trusting and you can swipe the house right out from under their feet before they even know it....There is a website she can go on to get her "certificate" to preach...its called www.screwthepeoplewiththewordofgod.com....good luck! your gonna be rich baby.....!
2007-11-28 01:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by Jim Morrison's L.A. Woman... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not funny, and you will see that some day, I pray for your child not to follow this, where is she learning that this is a game. God is real, and to be joking around like this is not right, it is showing her that is a joke and when she is old enough to make a choice for God, will she make the right one.
2007-11-28 07:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by Lynn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going to have to grow a mullet like that Joel Osteen guy. All the best televangelist have mullets.
2007-11-28 01:49:32 · answer #8 · answered by Sour Girl™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure shes only 2?
Are you sure a career of lying to people to extract money is appropriate for your daughter?
2007-11-28 01:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is very smart and alot of little kids that shouldnt even know what born again means and never heard it say that they have some people remember things like that just take her to a psycologist and they will tell u what to do and everything i seen it on unsolved mysterys its pretty cool
2007-11-28 01:09:02 · answer #10 · answered by crystal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 year old speaking in Tongues..most cannot even speak
clearly...and she has gotten the $$$ markting ideas
don't you think 2 is a little young for a career decision
or is it mommy projecting????
LOL this was funny.....
2007-11-28 01:15:55 · answer #11 · answered by WiseGal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋